DISCLAIMER
In this post, I will be talking about my body and that may or may not be triggering to others with similar insecurities. Anything I talk about in a bad light is only directed at myself and myself only. No matter what body you may have, your body deserves respect, love, kindness, and patience.
There's also going to be pictures of my body that people may or may not find uncomfortable given the amount of vulnerability I'm going to be attempting to show.
Course of Events
- Around August of 2022, I was at the heaviest I have ever been. I had said I started at 230, but realistically It was about 236-237lbs (107.501kg). I was in probably one of the worst places of my life job-wise, and I could barely afford rent having to take a pay decrease after moving cities. I was working part-time and was at home just wasting my time doing nothing probably killing arteries with little to no physical activity. I made this post to change that since at the time this is one of the things that was more consistent. I quickly started dropping weight and within a month I dropped about 10-15lbs. With that sense of control, I quickly found a better higher paying job with more hours and quickly regained a sense of control again of my life, and now in a new city that I thouroughly enjoy.
Things I'm proud of
- So since last year, I have dropped about 36 lbs. weighing in at 201 lbs. (about 91kg). My lowest point was 185lbs (84kg) in late March or early April losing about 50lbs. During this time I was able to see my collarbone, not be so ashamed of how bloated my ankles look, and I totally got rid of my love handles. I woke up every morning (or afternoon because night shift) and felt light and refreshed. Right now I have been bulking and I can now see my chest, back, and shoulders getting bigger and that is HUGE for me since I've never really had any sort of upper body that wasn't comprised of mostly fat. I feel absolutely and totally accomplished knowing I did this all by myself without a trainer and without any sort of guidance in the direction I was going. Even my mental health is gleaming as I feel confident in more revealing shirts, and I also feel like I can do most things much easier like pick something up off the ground or just be physically active for longer. Also, my face is skinnier than any point it has been in the last year, even than when I was at my lightest so it makes me feel like I'm still doing something right.
Things I felt were shortcomings
- While I was dropping weight for months I felt I had no sense of tone. In June I decided I'd start bulking up and lifting heavier. Doing so though has made it so I have to eat more to gain and retain that muscle. Because of that, I've gained some more weight, some of it muscle, and some of it fat. I keep thinking that I am slowly reverting back to what I was, but I have to keep telling myself that those are the eating habits and thoughts I gained from cutting weight for wrestling at the young age of 14. It's really hard to get out of that mindset and I feel disappointed sometimes knowing that I made it my goal to get away from that and it still affects me to this day. I also have these thoughts that I gave myself a year and I should've accomplished more, and it's hard to remind myself that I accomplished what I did without guidance and without a schedule.
Things I'm going to change going into this next year
- One thing I think could improve from my last year or so is that when lifting I felt like I wasn't gaining as much muscle as I could've. I did some research and it looks like maybe I need more full-on rest days so I'm gonna be cutting down to 3 days a week and I'm going to be making my workouts more intentional and focused. I'm also going to try to change from intermittent fasting (which worked very well for just straight-up weight loss) to a high protein, low carb diet. That way, it'll help me retain muscle as well as start to lean out a little and start to show more definition. I am excited for the next year and I've been enjoying the learning this has led me. Thanks to those of you who supported me, and I could give a shit about those of you who doubted me lmao.
Photos Before I started working out
Day the post was made
Wedding before the post was made
Chicago Pride 2022
Brewers Game with Grandma 2022
Photos at my lightest weight during the last year
Lightest weight of the year at 185lbs in Late March
Bike ride sunburn early April
Brewers Game with Grandma 2022
Outfits I was now comfortable wearing
Chicago June 2023
Chicago June 2023
Chicago June 2023
Current Photos
The 365th Workout
Where I stand currently
Back is getting bigger as well as shoulders and biceps
Specifically impressed by my shoulders because of my torn rotator cuffs
Not used to actually being able to see my collarbone
Regained my calf definite (please dont mind my gremlin toes)
I can wear sandals now that my ankles don’t look fat
Discord