Mine's Tacoilla
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Who's your favorite Player
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Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Yay.. honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you dash into the site and strike fear into your enemies eyes. Your silky smooth shots around with the operator, and that gorgeous util usage. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you retire.You had a rough year, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing off the game, you're a great teammate and friend, sometimes I even have wet dream about you. I forvever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day retire. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could puta smile on your beautiful face.You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first left Optic and its like my heart got broken into a million pieces. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I watched you win your first win in Reykajivik, because deep down,my glorious king deserved it. I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby boy came home and I rejoiced. 2023 was a hard year for us baby, but in 2024 you will make history happen. Not only have you changed the game of valorant and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're getting older, but still the goat, my goat. I love you pookie bear, my glorious king, Jacob Whiteaker.
Teacher: Class, spell hot, goat, sexy, and pookie
Everyone except me: H-O-T, G-O-A-T, S-E-X-Y, P-O-O-K-I-E
Me asf: That's wrong! It's J-A-C-C-O-B W-H-I-T-E-A-K-E-R
Jaccob "The goat, The hottest, The best, The hall of famer, My pookie bear, My pumpkin pie, My Delicious Snack, My idol, My Cutie Patootie, My Honeybunch, yay" Whiteaker: I swear to god these incels be trippin' dawg.
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