Copyapastas | VLR.gg

#1

pampire

Share your best valorant-original copypastas here

#2

fontea

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That one about 2022, mom's house back door, 7:01 and babybay is pretty top tier

#3

BIGGEST_LG_FAN

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As Asuna buries his head into his hands following his crushing defeat at the hands of four Overwatch players, his phone buzzes. It's the security camera for his mom's house, catching Babybay exiting. It's exactly 7:01 am, 7 gongs ring in the distance.

#6

rohooster

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Its 2022. Gamelanders versus FaZe at champions. Mwzera walks on to the stage, to thunderous applause. Unquestionably the best raze in the world. The FaZe players sit down across from him, and one of them is trying to tell him something. He barely makes out babybay telling him, "check your phone". His heart drops. Could it be? He gets a notification from his phone. Its the security camera, catching babybay leaving his mother's house. In despair, he checks the time. 7:01 AM.

Not totally accurate, reconstructed it from memory

#7

fontea

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https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/697622170142244975/819742909061791784/unknown.png this one yeh

#4

ravissant

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not original but it's such a good one

TenZ skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..

#5

pampire

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Dear GuildEsports, this is ANGE1 from FPX. Did you have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your team. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable team! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in Valorant! Cheers, ANGE1

#8

sentence

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[INSERT PLAYER HERE] is not just a skilled player, I’m telling you. he is a Model for 7 different brands, he usually hangs out with 12 chicks every day and only practices Valorant maybe 18 or 25 minutes per day. yet he still destroys these kids. what a barbarous human being!

#9

V0sotros

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anything from r/valorantcompetitive is a good copypasta

#10

V0sotros

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LETS GO PETER! (btw Peter is Asuna, i can use his first name because we are tight like that. yeah i know top players but its not a big deal to me lol)

#11

V0sotros

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valarante child game.... look to cartoon grapfix to make kid player happy like children show.. valarante cartoon world with rainbow unlike counter strike chad with dark corridorr and raelistic gun.. valarante like playhouse. valarant playor run from csgo fear of dark world and realism

#13

V0sotros

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Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...

#14

V0sotros

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[insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, OP flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill. A pair of hands would help too.

#15

V0sotros

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My Brother beats me - My Mother beats me - My Dad beats me - But I feel safe with (Insert team here) - Cuz they don't beat anyone

#16

V0sotros

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MY NAMES HIKO 4Head IM A BAITER 4Head ILL MEET YOU AT THE BOMBSITE 4Head A LITTLE BIT LATER

#17

V0sotros

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These two are different copypastas but they basically say the same thing so I'm putting them on the same post

honestly I think I could play better than [INSERT TEAM] right now, I'm gold but thats just because of my teammates. My crosshair placement is way better than any of these players, my reaction is top 10 in the world and I never miss a headshot. Its honestly sad they don't give players like my a chance in the pro scene just because I'm gold.

What the hell are both of these teams doing? I'm in bronze and I could compete better than all of the players in this tournament. I can't believe I'm being held back by my teammates this bad. Any orgs feel free to DM me.

#18

can10combr

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My favorite so far...

#12

mAko

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omg the hiko clutch one is sooooooo funnyyy

#19

bruhmphrey

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Necroing the old ass post for inspo