Why can't I just be happy like I'm ugly and gross and weird and people scare me and I can't hold a conversation and there's nothing interesting about me so I'm alone and I can't make friends and everything hurts and it constantly feels like there's something inside my chest trying to claw it's way out and I can't look after myself and I can't do simple tasks I can't sleep normal I can't leave the house and I just wanna go home from uni but I don't wanna go home cuz then ik I'll be a failure and every day I do nothing with myself and I don't even enjoy my hobbies anymore not that I had any beyond just sitting online and avoiding people and I don't feel happiness anymore I'm just sad all the time and I wanna be a kid again I wanna be happy again I don't know why I have to feel this way why was I born this way I literally can't motivate myself to do anything I hate this
Why can't I be happy?
just to be a kid once again
https://open.spotify.com/track/614cx8ZtQJX7jRIBnUhPA7?si=2cadbfe4a0af41dd
I'm ugly. I'm short. There was a time that I could hardly speak english, where I had no friends and I regretted more than anything my decision to come to America. But I couldn't go back because I was afraid of disappointing everyone, and eventually it came to a point where I almost never did.
It gets better, I promise. This world has amazing plans for us.
This feeling can often just be one sided. maybe media set unrealistic expectations about universities or whatever we do in life but real life often becomes dull, that doesnt mean you cant enjoy it. I usually throw Bricks and twinks when its boring but apart from that simple changes help, maybe try a slight variation to your uni route or just a 10 min walk around the park. anything small helps.
If you can join some group which helps people, do it ...they won't mind help, they'll be actually happy to have anyone., you can give 2-3 hours per week maybe.. Any kinda group, like maybe they distribute books or cloths among poor kids , or educate them . It can be anything... people will be nice and you will have good exposure....It will heal you , and fill you up with confidence..
It's honestly amazing how all these strangers from random places can all join together to be voices for someone who is struggling. VLR did do better. My word of advice for you is to find a therapist; if you're feeling bad about yourself, it's good to talk to someone. I know there is a stigma around mental health and therapy, but you are not alone.
One step at a time my friend. Our goals and desires are so far ahead of ourselves that when we look at them, it seems so far, so hard to get to. just try to be a bit better and I am sure you yourself will see improvement. Hang in there, keep striving and most of all, keep believing in yourself. The entire world can turn their back on you, but you should never turn yours on yourself; you got ts.
ig the one thing is stay off social media, too much negative stuff going on,
on the other hand, for your personal stuff, one thing is just dont overthink, i can relate to literally everything but i geniunely couldnt care less about the way i look, how popular i am, etc
i got a boring life too man i know wha its like but all you gotta do is just ignore it, i know its a shitty tip and is hard but it works if you never think about it
As you said you are going to graduate from uni i would guess either you are at your late teens or early 20s ..... bro it's just the start of your life .... you have a longgg way ahead and the most important thing is you have time to change .... according to your problems i would recommend to you 3 things ......
1st. Get your ass up and go to a gym this is the perfect time for that .... believe you will feel wonderful working out and also the gym environment is really supportive .... people won't judge there however you look only if they see that you are giving your best to be the better version of yourself .... however you look skinny or fat ( 2 yrs ago i was 102 kg/225lb while having an average height but now i am down to 75kg and believe it feels good to see the improvement) you can do it
2nd . If you think people with talk you in the respect of how you looks then you are deadass wrong and those who judge you bcuz of your looks they weren't meant to be your friends in the first place . Try to find and talk with people of your same interest and humor..... it would help you to start a convo and the rest is up to you (Btw if you have that problem like you can't talk even a little bit to anyyyyyybody then i would recommend joining a group discussion of some sort
And lastly, Don't think about yourself as a failure and also don't ignore your hobbies ik it easy to say but honestly these two things are the worst things you can do to yourself ...... you will have many many many opportunities believe me and if you don't stop thinking yourself as failure you won't be able to catch those opportunities.
Sorry for writing so much but brother i hope you change your mind and take care of yourself brother
I hv gone through somewhat of a similar stage in life when I was in high school, so I can definitely tell you this with full trust , it will get better buddy , I know it feels like you might be drowning but stay afloat for the time being , you will be out of this, in the meanwhile the best thing i can suggest you is to get off social media sites like vlr, instgram, tiktok, twitter , reddit, etc etc , cause trust me these sites only make you feel like shit and not bring anything real to ur life, also if u don't have any important stuff in uni in the very near future just take a small break and visit your parents and tell them you don't feel good in life( this generally works better if ur asian cause asian parents tho they are harsh, at the end of the day will still help you out, you just need to put it out in the right way, tho it could work with other parents as well depending on how they are, but i suggest still try it) , losing interest in habits might not be necessarily due to this feeling but it could also be you be moving out of them and it's fine cause you develop new ones, put yourself more in real life among people who don't make you feel like shit and among those people you can enjoy being with , having pure fun , things may seem impossible to u rn but take them one at a time , make a goal in life if u currently don't have any and make sure the goal you have is something u want to achieve and not something like I want to earn money cause if ur feeling shit money won't do much. Also most importantly , just write down stuff bro the things that you feel or even record them whatever suits u, and try asking yourself the basic questions like since when are you feeling this , why are you feeling this. Meaning just try to figure the root cause if possible , another important thing is identifying the bad stuff from ur life and eliminating them like watching porn, scrolling endlessly etc etc , obviously it won't be easy to get rid of all things easily but Start trying
It sounds like you're insecure about a lot of things, and I'm interpreting your situation that way because I too am insecure in many aspects of myself. I don't consider myself good looking, I'm not great at interacting with people, and I generally see myself as a very boring person without many interesting things to say.
You might not like what I'm about to say, and it might sounds super lame and ineffective but it works for me.
Do you believe in prophecies? Lots of people do subconciously. So what happens when you use all these strong words like ugly and gross to talk about yourself? You're writing a self-fulfilling prophecy where you will never win. So step one: stop using such horrible words like ugly, gross, and weird to describe yourself. I don't care if you self-loathe using milder words, but first stop using those stronger words to describe yourself.
You seem to really acknowledge how strong you feel about interacting with yourself and other people. I've got one piece of advice for you to start seeing human interaction as not that big of a deal: Greetings! Everyday when you wake up and go to the bathroom to wash up, look in the mirror and say hi. I don't care if you don't want to say more than that, but greet and smile at yourself. Additionally, next time you go buy anything, say hi, thank you, and have a nice day to the person working the register.
And you say you want to be a kid again. So be a kid again! I used to make a bunch of origami animals when I was young, so what did I do a decade later stressing about growing up? I bought a bunch of origami paper and made a bunch of cool stuff. Feeling a lack of thrill in your grown-up life? Go to the amusement park! Ride a roller coaster or two, play an arcade game. Grab some stuffed animals and play house. There's no shame in walking down memory lane, much less interacting with it.
There's a lot of things you can do, and while it might like a very dark place, there's a flashlight you can find if you feel around for long enough, and it will illuminate bits of the room bit by bit. You're not alone, and if you need help finding that light I'll always be here to help you.
tldr: love youself more.
- Stop using strong language to beat yourself up.
- Greet others and yourself (you may not like this but force yourself to do it and it'll become routine in no time)
- Do things you did when you were a kid (ik you have uni and stuff but prioritize happiness).
- extra. Say yes to more things and build up your confidence again :D
What is the point in living life if nothing makes us smile? We're living for ourselves, after all, and I am so glad you reached out about your situation. I wish you the best.
Recommend a song to you.
No hope - the vaccines
Others may also have your problem, like this song.
There is no problem being an ordinary person in Chinese philosophical thought.Sometimes I feel lucky to be an ordinary person.
And many desires are instilled in us by others, in fact, we don't need too much. Think about what kind of life you want, and then take action.
Also, learn to accept imperfection and failure, because nothing is perfect and no one can have everything he want (this is also a Chinese philosophical thinking).
You already know where the problem lies.You have a lot of room to improve yourself and grow.
And I suggest you read Albert Camus' book and think about life and its meaning.He is a cool guy.I don't know if you know him.
L'Étranger,La Mort heureuse
idk if you are going to scroll down and read this but I understand exactly where you are because ive been in the same spot (most people on vlr honestly) and whenever people gave me advice it sounded hollow but you just have to trust yourself to find routine in the mundane and slowly start to improve on yourself. once you do you will look back on this and realize you have been subconsiously following the very advice you read. even though it may seem useless it affects your subconscious in a way that allows you to love yourself, as long as you keep going and develop a connection to your everyday actions you will make it out of this a better person
Like the evolving beats in Memorbox, your current feelings aren't permanent. Just as Memorbox started simple and grew into something beautiful, you too can find your way to better days.
Consider trying Memorbox - creating music can be therapeutic when words aren't enough. The simple joy of making beats in Memorbox might help lift your spirits, even if just for a moment.
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