am i weird that I’m hella bored that there aren’t any more Faze Marved or Kyedae Crashies Situations anymore…
Like the most popular ones in 2023 were like demon1 saying “fuck the haters” or something
Like how did we go from getting disqualified and banned for playing matches for saying stuff (V1 zellsis, 100t Fr0st) to just saying minor cuss words on stream
I just want some real drama between teams and i miss that ngl…
i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
from what i remember kyedae called crashies something along the lines of "scrawny fuck" or something similar after a sen vs envy match which she got a lot of hate for.
Idk what the faze marved thing is, could be referring to when marved said kyedae is the type of person to cheat and that he would fuck her on LAN
During Envy vs Sentinels match, Envy was destroying Sentinels, and the screen went to Crashies where he was basically saying how the match was over. Kyedae got pissed and called Crashies a scrawny fuck (Crashies had a severe food allergy, I believe), this shit blew up and yay spoke upon the situation and tweeted about how messed up it was to personally insult someone infront of live audience, TenZ made it worse by responding to the tweet saying "It's smaller compared to someone saying that he'd fuck someones girl at lan" this is where Marved randomly gets sucked in to the issue even though that scandal was burried a long time ago. (The scandal was about Marved saying at lan how he'd fuck kyedae and how kyedae would cheat on TenZ)
edit: oops wrong reply
Noot Noot was a GC team who had a player that was accused of cheating, and subsequently banned from GC*. They went on a small run in the tournament, where they possibly caused a few teams notably DSG to lose. https://youtu.be/rTyFDhamkvw
James FF, the scrims leaker on VLR, had drama with ds santos, a vlr "journalist" who I believe used to go by Eutalyx. Ds santos claimed that James wasn't a "real journalist" and a "basement dweller who looks at Twitch all day." As opposed to santos who does real journalism, which is waiting for official announcements and writing a recap of it :O (Clearly needs a lot of professionalism and skills for that). Lots of people on VLR got upset at ds santos as they saw the situation as overly rude and a "pot calling the kettle black" ordeal.
"*" It's worth noting that the player, Malibu, was never explicitly found guilty of cheating, but in the report that banned her from competing in val events, they stated ban evading, but never addressed the cheating allegations.
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