Satan Bless You - Sabbat

Absolutely goated song

Generational hopecore from you bro, absolutely goated behaviour

I feel the exact same except my partner is Canadian and going back to live in Canada tomorrow, sadge

Create an Ascension team that you think would instantly make a run to 1st seed at a Masters

EMEA tier 2 is the only region's T2 I really know so imma go with

GSR - fill
Chaza - perma Yoru, Chamber and occasionally Cypher
globeX - smokes
sickrey - scan IGL
kozzy - main duellist

Edit - I forgor no ascension so just say a tier 2 team that can run to champs

Nah I have the full BBL lower bracket run it would be absurdly peak fiction

I mean they did singlehandedly molest the entire Americas region and are set up to go 3 for 3 against Furia and probably are the best looking team out of groups mostly by virtue of the other 0-2 team not being tested too hard

Americas: 100T, LEV, NRG
EMEA: TH, M8, BBL
Pacific: GEN.G, PRX, GE
China: Wolves, XLG, TYL

https://www.vlr.gg/pickem/ff01920d

Actually there is a Champions vs Ascension narrative with starxo vs NS but obviously that's less cool than the same core of the very last Champs vs the core of 3 that ran from premier to a Masters in their first year of VCT

Objectively picking G2 is peak aura farming

Realistically they're cooked but a man can dream of something really funny happening and I'll gladly give up my top spot in the Kirya pickem group to be proven wrong

F4NGEER IS SINGLE HANDEDLY GONNA WEDGIE ALL OF G2 AND SEND BABYBAY BACK TO THE DESK

Assmolestia you will never escape your true identity

Hey it's tough to keep up with this in his old age

I took trent off my vfl gng why the fuck didn't I have faith what was I doing

Bro hasn't watched a match since 2022

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Britain

Nuh uh, Berlin's getting personally touched in the bathroom by Boaster, benjy and Keiko

G2 are gonna get to playoffs, AG are gonna draw last pick and have to play G2, all the G2 frogs are gonna start saying it's a free win and it's good to get the momentum early and this is fs their event they're finally not gonna choke

Then f4ngeer is gonna physically go across the stage and give jawgemo the foulest wedgie in human history with a 1.92 rating, iamgrq and au1 are gonna corner leaf between maps in the bathroom and swirlie him, K1ra is gonna run the whole teams pockets for their lunch money and drop a 1.87 on them and Shr1mp is gonna start doing the Karrigan ambulance noises whenever they try and comm before shoving valyn in a locker and dropping a 1.74 rating

https://www.vlr.gg/event/stats/2781/challengers-2026-dach-evolution-stage-1

Found your goat playing

All these tiktok mfs saying allat lowkey pmo more than anything like alright bro aggressively announce your inability to read text longer than 2 sentences it's really funny and original and definitely makes you look smarter and yk what yes you should make fun of this person for trying to write something of substance and go in depth and fuckin SDJNDFJNODGSAOKJNSDFAKOFDSKMOKDFMSKOM

I FUCKING HATE WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THIS RETARDED INTERNET SHIT

Zmjjkk and f4ngeer have a domain clash of the strongest China farmer of history vs the strongest China farmer of today, f4ngeer's domain Malevolent France overwhelms Zmjjkk's domain and he cuts him in half before saying "You were magnificent Zmjjkk, I won't forget you for as long as I live" and takes his glasses and wears them to the finals as an homage to his inspiration

Nah don't sell us short like that

Vlr you listening will return in Avengers Doomsday

Vlr you listening host to this may be a bigger falloff than EG Demon1 to NRG Demon1

Fuck my post, fuck my name, it's ME

runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH
runneR? What is bro running from? The dementia?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

runneR? What is bro running from? The trophies?!? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

It's up to you to save China

Zmjjkk shall emerge from under f4ngeer's bed in his hotel room tonight and kiss him on the forehead while he's sleeping to fill him with his aura and instantly beam the knowledge of Chinese philosophical sayings into his brain so he can inspire his team mates and farm 🥶🥶🥶 reactions on BilliBilli

An IQ too high?

He was never dirty with it to begin with he's always been a fraud

Am now praying for f4ngeer to be the number 2 player at the tourney so we can say KC fumbled the top 2 duellists itw

Gang why the FUCK did we let marteen go?

ENGH gotta be simultaneously kicking himself and sweating cuz his duellist of 2 years instantly became contender for best player itw after leaving his bum ass

-cb +slowly

-Autumn +literally any other coach from outside of China

Sky is blue ahhh take

Probably but also it'd be really funny so on EVERYONE'S soul we'll be praying for ts, by the power of JonahP evil G2 shall fall to the goat happywei

comeback

TH COMEBACK MENTIONED???

WE ARE WINNING LONDON I WILL PERSONALLY GO THERE AND GIVE EVERY OTHER TEAM FOOD POISONING BY RUBBING MY NUTS IN THE FOOD GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Oh shit ye I forgor they don't play G2 anymore

o7 XLG I thought fs they'd finger blast T1 but nah

EDG fine imo, T1 and EDG are both shit macro all aim team fight swing everything teams and T1 has B0zZ so EDG win

If Zmjjkk dies even once to Babybay I'm officially revoking his top 10 OAT spot

primmie glazers gotta find a different hobby man these streets ain't for you cuh

2 Russians and 3 Turks, maybe a Brit somewhere in there, this is the formula

I'd say in terms of agent mastery, probably marteen

In terms of the best player who happens to play Yoru I'd give it to f0rsakeN

And then in terms of the best player at abusing Yoru in the current meta by opping with him I'd say lovers rock

Yeah I think G2 vs PRX game really hurt my team the most but I think valyn's gonna farm EDG so I should be fine by the end of groups

https://www.valorantfantasyleague.net/team/19262

Why the FUCK did I pick Munchkin bruh

I would say more teams should consider it as an option

It's already so difficult to root out or get past an op with this current meta, adding a second one into a defensive setup stretches util even thinner and makes contacting for info extremely difficult

I'd say the biggest advantage would be being able to reliably double op whilst still having an aggressive rifler as well as being able to totally overwhelm defensive setups on a majority of execs with 4 agents that can dive

Ofc not every team could even play this comp with any amount of effectiveness but I feel like hypothetically in this meta this could work on paper with the right players, i.e TL or MIBR who have 3 players with experience on duellist

You've never seen PRX fans pretend that no other team in Valorant is fun or even worth watching? I feel like that's a regular occurrence

Unfortunately not

The storyline dictates that the British player who joins NRG and faces his old org must win as was written in the hit 2023 movie "VCT Masters Tokyo"

(They can't know MiniBoo is actually gonna drop the new B03 kill record)

If a team started running Neon, Yoru, Waylay, Omen and then Sova/Fade depending on the map, do they realistically lose anything in this meta?

Yeah but the M8 fans don't act like watching any other team is literal torture because they're too slow

I have him 4th, below aspas, Chronicle and Alfajer but now that I think about it I'd put Derke 4th

TenZ and Leo I only have top 10 because I think TenZ was too inconsistent and Leo just had too short of a career to put him top 5

I mean he's won 2 Masters in the span of less than a year if he got a third he'd have the same number of trophies as Chronicle and arguably more individual impact, plus one trophy a year since his role swap to senti

I believe they're just gonna deathball and fight and I can see marteen and Minny just farming the overpeeks

T1 win Meteor 4th > 1st

TL win may I humbly request we put MiniBoo in top 20 he's him