I'm gonna fucking kill myself. d00mbros stocks through the stratosphere

5 out of their 10 most recent Valorant videos have been about Sentinels, 2 of them were about TenZ specifically and were pretty much just the same 'rise, fall, rise again' kinda video uploaded right after Gen.G win Shanghai. Then 2 of them are just about the game itself. One of them is about 100T. One of them is weirdly enough about ANGE1. And the other one is about yay. It has been MONTHS since Madrid and the only new development in the Valorant scene they've talked about is 100T. Goofy ahhh channel

Still haven't touched on Gen.G winning Shanghai whatsoever, and instead decide to put out a 3rd video about Sentinels winning Madrid. Bro WHAT?! ARE THEY STUPID?

ANGE1 did an interview after the game vs FUT where he said the whole team was super sad to lose d00mbros and they miss him. They've been playing with him for years now and they were probably super close, so I imagine management getting rid of him when the whole team knew he wasn't at fault probably mentally boomed them off the face of the earth. None of the players even look like they wanna be there.

Anyone willing to do the gruelling job of looking at Team Liquid games (BLEUGH) and count Enzo's kills to see how many of them were with the Odin? I swear he gets like 2 per map without it

They have to win all their remaining games in clean fashion and one of KC, FNC, VIT or NAVI need to drop the ball for the rest of the split

I feel like trexx wouldn't want to leave Vitality unless the team totally implodes. And even then I imagine it'd be a lot easier to get paTiTek

I mean he's already apparently on his way out. It'd be insane if they could hunt down BONKAR but not super realistic so instead they could go for d00mbros or salah

Stuck with deadweight Enzo and the inconsistent messes that are Keiko Jamppi and Mistic

Get this man some help. Sign zeddy and paTiTek at a bare minumum, then try and poach Cloud or pick up nukkye or something. Then ideally replace Keiko with someone like kajaak but keeping him isn't the worst thing in the world

nAts deadlifts them to 1 map win but Elite, QutionerX and Brave all drop 40 across the series

Surely you take nAts or SUYGETSU over vo0kashu. His aim is good but I'd say nAts and suy both have better decision making and sentinel util. Plus I'd probably favour having trexx be the flex and Chronicle play scan initiators, or maybe replace trexx with Cloud

Shao and Suygetsu are Russian tf? Just cuz they chose not to represent it on vlr after joining NAVI doesn't make them not Russian. And they're certainly both more Russian than Demon1

EDG are the fucking goats of being cooked how dare u diss them like that

How absurdly high will Wo0t’s rating be this match? Could he be the first ever Valorant player to average an over 2.00 rating for a split (because it’s a given that no one on KOI, GM8 or GX could touch him)

The NAVI players are just throwing on purpose in protest of the org dropping d00mbr0s in the hopes that they can get him back, because there’s no way d00mbr0s leaving suddenly takes away ardiis and Shao’s hands

2 I'd assume. DRX got in with 6-0 record, PRX are one win away with a 5-1 record. LEV had a 4-1 record last split

SCOUSE ON TOP RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

True, which really isn't a great look for GC. It's purpose is to foster talent from marginalised genders but the only talent GC has that might be able to compete in T2 seemingly doesn't want to make the jump, either because she expects franchising teams to be willing to sign her when she's old enough without playing in T2 (which is an insane gamble for someone so unproven) or she just wants an easy stream of income and doesn't care about competing

Might just be the most retarded statement ever said on this site

Nah, the true solution is to get VCT CIS once the conflict ends, with KPI, Spirit, GMB, VP, Empire, forze and a few other random Russian orgs

Pointing at random off games from world class pros from upwards of 2 years ago does not discredit the notion that the top 10% of franchised players (which you claimed flor was a part of) could breeze past the open qualifiers to VCL. I have watched flor play. She is about on par with most promising looking t2 duellists. Aim diffing players who would struggle in premier in GC does not put you up there with the likes of aspas, t3xture and Demon1

You said she's better than 90% of franchised players, implying she's up there with trophy winning players and consistent top 4 at internationals level players. You'd expect someone of that calibre to put up generational levels of numbers against random nobodies in open qualifiers. Even bottom level franchised duellists like kamo could probably deadlift a team through open qualifiers and put up consistent 30 bombs. Flor is decent but she's nowhere near the top 10, 20 or even 50% of franchised players

Why don't SR qualify to T2 then?

Slightly longer than half a sentence? ALLAT ALLAT ALLAT ALLAT ALLAT ALLAT

No but seriously GE are turning into EG levels of ass org. Makes sense, their names are just the same letters swapped

Nah, daddy Pujan gonna carry his bum ass to a 2026 contract extension

Fr, he was considered world class on duelist in 2023 but keeps knee capping his own career by trying to force himself as a flex player rather than sticking to what he's best at (and what he has the most impact on)

I mean if the best GC player won't try and jump to T2 because they don't want to progress as a player and would rather just farm bots for essentially free money that really makes GC look like kind of a joke

runneR on perma sentinel could work. It's relatively simple to understand and lets you focus on clicking heads without the need to create space or entry

Apeks vs KPI Ascension finals boutta go crazy

Yeah I honestly don't know why she doesn't go to a T2 team. I assume it's cuz she thinks SR as a full squad could make it together but honestly I doubt it. They've been trying for a while and they've never really gone far enough in the quals to make me think they have a chance unless they show massive improvement (which is very tough to do when your opponents are as far below you as the rest of NA GC is below SR). So shouldn't flor just cut her losses and jump ship to NA T2 and progress as a player

It's time for GE yay, he's already at rock bottom, GE are already at rock bottom, could be a Cinderella story

I think GC is just kind of a farmers league where flor looks like a hydrogen bomb vs a bunch of coughing babies, but in reality she's just kinda an ok player. It's like the soulcas effect

ardiis, in a double duelist comp with zyppan on Raze and ardiis as second entry to him and setting up nade vulnerable combos. Could honestly see it kinda frying

Men I'd trust:

Boaster and c0m (both harmless, in and out of the server)
nAts (no access to drink)
benjyfishy
Wo0t (just gives off the same energy as a sausage dog)
aspas
t3xture (if someone tried spiking me man would scream so loud the whole county knows)
Jinggg
stax
Mako

Men I'd trust but would fuck up:

Zellsis and Boostio (a little bit of trolling)
Asuna (he would forget)
Chronicle and RieNs (don't care enough to keep an eye out)
zyppan (would probably put salt in it or something)
mindfreak (too busy mogging to watch it)

Men I wouldn't trust:

ANGE1 (it would become the device of another ANGE1 masterclass)
SUYGETSU (too much bm)
ardiis (would down it instantly and then yap about his latest gambling loss)
yay (would tell me to focus on my site)
Mistic (devious aura)
crashies (gives off incel energy)

Every time I see Sayf all I see is Vikkstar123 ngl

OpTic yay feels like a distant memory at this point, and I'm starting to wonder if yay will ever be back. I don't he'll be winning anymore titles in Valorant but it'd at least be nice to see him turning up to international events again

Actual no help. Perhaps the only member of GE with hands. Some other team should try and steal him

Breeze is actually giga cancer I have no idea how anyone finds literally a single positive in the map. A good 90% of Valorant is totally incompatible with it (every agent except like 7, every gun other than the snipers, guardian and vandal, the entire defense side) and the strategic side of the map is actually more shallow than the stab wound I give myself every time I queue into this embarrassment. Whoever designed the map should be paraded around the streets and publicly humiliated, and should never be allowed within 1km of a keyboard ever again. Having it anywhere other than last genuinely makes me think you're a slitheen

I feel like Haven is one of the more attack sided maps in the game ngl. The massive amount of lanes can be super annoying to defend unless you are your team mates are heavily coordinated. Still definitely top 3 for me tho

Come on even you have to know that that's unimaginable levels of cope

I mean the basic skeletons on the maps are still there, and the changes are minimal enough to still say that they're fundamentally the same maps as when they released. When it's mostly just a few boxes or one or two positions that get changed a map doesn't really become a new map

EMEA

TH, KC, FUT, NAVI

Americas

SEN, 100T, LEV, KRU

Pacific

PRX, DRX, GEN.G, RRQ

CN

EDG, FPX, TE, DRG

Man sees an org try and step up their content game and sees it as a bad thing

I'm cumming

I gotta say my premier team Korma Krunchers really isn't getting the recognition it deserves, we're about to do some damage in the scene

Lil bro thinks GX are good. This team is washed until they fold and bring up zeddy and B1SK, steal nAts and sheydos and construct the full Russian speaking squad

The best 4 maps in Valorant are undoubtedly Haven, Ascent, Split and Bind. Which are coincidentally the first 4 maps released. Since then it's been incredibly hit or miss. Fracture and Lotus are alright, but Fracture is incredibly annoying to play outside of a coordinated environment. Sunset would be decent if not for the B main post plant. Other than that it's been total stinkers. Icebox is ok to play but a fuckin snoozefest to watch. Breeze is actual mega cancer and I'd rather stick my dick in a cheese grater than ever touch that map again. Pearl was ass for the longest time. And now Abyss looks total shit.

Which begs the question as to what happened to the map design team. Did they start doing crack since the game came out? Wtf are they on?

Honestly I don't think Sunset is that bad. As long as the make the B box in main spammable with mid penetration then I think it's a good map

Some personal favourites

"HE GETS THE ACE, SSCARY, THE HOME TOWN HERO! Drags it across the line in an impossible round!" - Achilios during Bleed vs Scarz at Pacific Ascension

"Manages to slip away, does get marked. Prowler, not a problem for him just yet. Another fight-! Oh my-! OH MY GOD! THE MAN CAN DO NO WRONG!" - Pansy during FPX vs DRX at Champions

"THE FUTURE IS NOW, LOS NINOS STAND TALL!" - Doug on the final round of 100T vs TH at Shanghai

"HE'S SO AWARE, HE'S SO DOMINANT, AND HE'S SO. DAMN. GOOD!" - Achilios during G2 vs TH at Shanghai

"You're never quite gonna be tested like this son." - Bren during FNC vs Loud at Lock//In

I'm in a custom lobby right now and holy shit Abyss looks awful. It looks like it'll be deadass worse than Breeze. Mid is pretty much unusable as the attack, both sites are just a heaven and then one or two big pieces of cover. The post plant on B looks aids to play against. The massive rotate times makes retakes and fakes incredibly difficult.

Honestly could be the new worst map in the game. Hope it gets rotated out as soon as possible