It's been 9 days without stream, I can't go ahead with this any longer. My mental state is in complete and utter pandemonium. I cried myself to sleep 4 times today. I feel paranoid that my screamy may never come back. 1taps has been the only thing that brings me joy in this cruel life for 7 years now and I won't be able to recover mentally or financially if it's gone. I've spent over $7,000 on my tier 3 subs this week alone. I even bought $500 worth of scream merch. I told my mom through tears and she yelled at me calling me a "failure" and saying she knew she should have been on birth control. Although, no stream has had it's positive impacts on me. My IQ has increased by 40 and I've been thinking more critically. When I saw the last stream, i vomited. I just hope he’ll come back, I even started praying again.
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