Okay this ain't for me , I consider myself too young for this shit , but my friend who doesn't is calling me every hour and cries, and i don't know what the fuck to say to him as never experienced any such thing, tell me what to say to him?
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Maybe your friend just wants someone to listen. Tell him that it's hard for you to empathize since you haven't experienced those things yet, but you'll still be there to listen. Maybe you can cheer him up by treating him ice cream or something
Sometimes, the person doesn't need a solution from you but instead the person really just wants to let it out.
A good and sensible idea. My one warning with that is to not let that friend become -too- attached to you. I've had many people in my life that took my kindness and willingness to listen as an indication to become their personal therapist on every part of their life, which I'm obviously not qualified to do.
But if it's temporary/just venting, or if it's not insanely serious, then this is easily the best approach. Just having someone to listen to helps out a lot sometimes.
100% agree.
OP, if it gets too much, tell your friend to seek professional help. Say something like, "I'm starting to get really worried about you and I don't know how I can help anymore. I think you should start talking to a therapist since I feel like that'll benefit you more."
And as someone who has been to therapy, it's honestly pretty good lol.
This is a lot, but I feel like I can help, I have been on both sides of the coin in my life. Both with friends going through things and when I am going through something.
I think it is great you are seeking advice and really want to help your friend. Part of being a really good friend is, when a friend is going through something difficult to really listen to them and empathize with their situation. Like others said sometimes people need to just vent out their thoughts and emotions and know that someone feels for them.
Something that can also help, is to help them see the light at the end of the tunnel. Meaning what are some positive things they can focus on moving forward? I don't know the situation your friend is going through, but in most cases you can figure out some ways to help them start to think about a more positive outlook and mindset moving forward.
I also know that when I am going through something that just spending some time with my close friends and doing something fun together, like going outside and doing something I really enjoy doing helps to take my mind off of everything. If you can't hang out IRL, maybe they have other friends they can do something fun with. Or, you can hop in discord and play some games together or something.
I can give an example:
If my friend just had a hard break up with someone they really loved and they needed support.
- I would be there for them to vent about the situation and listen to them with full attention.
- I would let them know that I can see how that is really difficult for them right now, I feel for them and I am here for them.
- I would remind them of things in their life that are going well.
- I would remind them that they are not alone, a lot of people go through this in life. Sometimes people can feel like they are alone, so I think it is important to remind them. And remind them of all the people that love them and are their for them.
- I would tell them this is a good time to focus on yourself for a bit, get in the gym, exercise, get other areas of your life improved and remind them to try their best to have healthy habits. Eating good nutrition, exercising, getting good sleep.
- I would ask them if they want to go do something together, like go shoot some hoops, go on a hike, go get some food together, etc.
- I would message them here and there throughout the next couple weeks to say hi and see how they are doing.
About the calling all the time:
You want to make sure that you are respecting your time as well. Every hour seems like a lot to me for someone to call. Obviously depending on the situation things can vary. If it is for a day that they are calling a lot I can understand. But, maybe you can set some times to talk on the phone and you can message a bit throughout the day. Like hey, I do have a lot I need to do, lets hang out later tonight at 5pm. I will give you a call as soon as I am done with all my things.
Also, if the situation is really rough and it doesn't seem like they are getting better, seeking professional help from a therapist can be really good. A lot of people need help in life, even Tom Brady does therapy. It can get a bad wrap sometimes, but it is not a bad thing to seek professional help and it can really be a huge benefit to have a professional to talk to about things.
I hope this helps you and I hope your friend starts to feel better soon.
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