Hello everyone and welcome back to your favourite mini-series! This time with a twist.
We will be rating EURO 2024 Round of 16 country names based off the aura they give off
Let's get right into it.
Suisse (Switzerland) - 6.5/10
(I am using the French go cry about it) Points for uniqueness but am I really feeling the aura? Suisse cheese aura? Switzer sounds like something the germans used in WWll, idk dude kinda fishy.
Italia (Italy) - 5/10
Italia is pretty darn cold. Unfortunately Zidane single-handedly deleted your aura points from existence. For that reason alone 5/10 is generous. Also Chiellini needs to beat the racism allegations after that saka challenge, we have not forgotten.
Deutschland (Germany) - 5/10
Yes you won a WC 10 years ago. But aura? Germ - a - knee? Unlucky English kinda fucked you. Deutschland is pretty cool but really nothing special. Try to explain to a foreigner that 'dutch' isn't your language.
Danmark (Denmark) - 5/10
Blud combined Dan and Mark and called it a day. Neither Dan or Mark have aura. Accountant ahh names. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mid.
England (England) - 7/10
Bonus points for propa Brexit football. Negative points for lack of players willing to die for the badge. Start Palmer ffs. Southgate so some more negative points on top.
France (France) - 9/10
I am feeling the aura here. Reminds me of Trance (insane name for an org btw). I am channeling my teenage mutant ninja turtle aura as we speak.
Belgique (Belgium) - 2/10
Hell naw. Ugly ahh name. Negative points for literally all the players hating each other and sleeping with each other's partners. Fix yo shit Belgium.
Slovensko (Slovakia) - 8.5/10
Yes this is good. Ignoring the mid team this is cold. Slovensko sounds like a championship player from 2009 who banged goals left and right and went straight to the pub after his games. Proper name. This is aura.
España (Spain) - 8/10
These guys are always cold. The tiki-taka Pep Guardiola aura will forever be cemented in their name. Can't deny these guys their aura.
საქართველოს (Georgia) - 9/10
Since I cannot read Georgian I have to assume this directly reads as "Skibidi sigma toilet baby gronk livvy mountain dew Red bull clutch ace". That is a pretty darn cold name for a country. This is aura heritage. Have a 9 (I am lowering the score because I feel bad for the other countries, its too OP)
Portugal (Portugal) - 8/10
Similar to Spain in a lot of ways. The CR7 aura cannot be denied. No explanation needed.
Slovenija (Slovenia) - 7/10
This is what I would do if I was playing sage in a scrim vs G2 Gozen (please get the joke)
România (Romania) - 8/10
Whoever named ts was like fuck yeah put a hat on the a because I said so. I fuck with it. Definition of aura.
Nederland (Netherlands) - 5/10
Ned Flanders ahh name. Bonus points because I love their team this year and they will go far. But aura? ehhh....
Österreich (Austria) - 4/10
Ostrich aahhh name. Long neck bird ahhh name. Controversial opinion but ostriches lack aura, their size is compensation. Plus why does your 'O' have cat ears? Furry ahh letter.
Türkiye (Turkey) - 7.5/10
Aura? Nah. Thanksgiving dinner? Now we're talking.
Thanks for reading and any suggestions for future editions are very much appreciated :D
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