Hello everyone, my name is 100T mangotan - unofficial analyst for 100 Thieves and fan of the team since Asuna first joined during their First Strike win. For years, I've watched and analyzed this team, and this year, I’m going to be releasing weekly analysis on my boys in red.
The game against MIBR wasn’t fantastic, but we have to stick to the script. I told you, if 100T play G2, they’re just going to get destroyed and we’re going to fold. Let me provide you 5 reasons why G2 is going to destroy 100T today:
- Cryocells is 100T’s only hope, and he’s about to get JAWGEMO’d into oblivion. Let’s be real, 100T lives and dies by Cryocells popping off, but that dude’s consistency is shakier than a house of cards in a windstorm. G2’s strats are light-years ahead, and they’ve got JAWGEMO locked and loaded to diff Cryo into the next dimension. G2’s coaching staff probably spent all night cooking up a masterplan to shut him down, and Cryo’s gonna be crying for real when he’s stuck whiffing every shot.
- G2 is the former Masters runner-up and the undisputed kings of Americas. These guys went 5-0 in the group stage, G2’s got the pedigree, the firepower, and the swagger to back it up. Meanwhile, 100T is out here scraping wins against bottom-feeders and choking when it matters most. You really think a team that fumbled their way through the season can touch a juggernaut like G2? Get real.
- Asuna is the worst player in the league, and he’s about to get exposed AGAIN. Asuna’s out here playing like he’s stuck in a Bronze lobby, getting caught out every round and leaving 100T in 4v5s. It’s like watching JAWGEMO yesterday on Waylay, overextending and throwing, except Asuna does that EVERY game. G2’s gonna bait him into dumb plays, isolate him, and leave 100T scrambling. Good luck winning when your star duelist is a walking highlight reel for the enemy.
- 100T’s teamwork is a dumpster fire compared to G2’s symphony of destruction. G2 plays like a well-oiled machine, where every player knows their role, and their executes are surgical. 100T? They’re a bunch of headless chickens running into walls. Boostio’s calling strats like he’s reading from a children’s book, and the rest of the team just prays Cryo bails them out. G2’s gonna read their predictable plays like an open book and counter every move with ruthless precision.
- 100T’s mental is weaker than wet tissue paper. These guys crumble under pressure faster than a sandcastle at high tide. One bad round, and they’re tilting off the face of the earth. G2, on the other hand, thrives in high-stakes moments - yesterday’s loss was just a fluke, and they’re coming in PISSED. 100T’s gonna be shaking in their boots when G2 starts rolling, and by Map 2, they’ll be mentally checked out, ready to book their flights home.
A couple more reasons but not fully written out because I need to lock in for my last exam:
trent > Eeiu: Trent’s clutch machine dominates, while Eeiu baits his team into 4v5s.
JAWGEMO > Cryocells: JAWGEMO’s dueling supremacy buries Cryo’s inconsistent whiffs.
valyn > Zander: Valyn’s galaxy-brain calls outshine Zander’s aimless, spray-and-pray flops.
JonahP > Asuna: JonahP’s surgical flicks clown Asuna’s league-worst, mood-swing nonsense.
icy > Boostio: Icy’s aimbot precision humiliates Boostio’s FNS-level potato aim.
And if platchat were to pred this game, they’d plat chat guarantee G2 as well. Those always go the way they’re expected to.
Unfortunately, all these points mean that we’re going to have to take this loss because G2 is going to send us into the Shadow Realm. This will be the cleanest G2 win ever, back to back 13-2s, because our map pool is just terrible.
If 100t somehow win, I'll die my hair purple or something idk and give someone in here 200 bucks cuz why the fuck not. because it
just
isn't
happening.
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