why is USA | VLR.gg

#1

Chunkio_but_sanest

not using metric? are they stupid? imagine using cheeseburgers as your measurement

#2

acels

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bc americans love cheeseburgers ( they are all built like y0y)

#5

Psion

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rather be built like yay than ardiis

#8

Chunkio_but_sanest

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yea but ardiis ain't folding like an absolute beta male

#37

yukky

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you’ll fold when america comes knocking

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#9

sentinelmain377

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ardiis dropped that weight tho

#28

Cheasle2

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Ardiis significantly lost weoght when he moved back to Europe... curious

#30

TakoSaki

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hmmmm surely just a coincidence right? right...?

#38

yukky

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they don’t have enough money in europoor to buy food

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#41

Chunkio_but_sanest

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food is the best comfort for depression understandably since he played with a walking orb

#54

nobody___100

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he played as a walking orb

#57

PRXRoach

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i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

#14

Chunkio

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Shut the FUCK up.

#3

Vortax

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WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

#4

FireII

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because USA likes freedom !!!

#55

UvuvwevwevweOnyetenyevwe

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Does anyone still believe this shit?

#56

yukky

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FREEEEEEDOM

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#6

LAMENTOCE

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Why does the UK use sTonES to weigh themselves, mf u expect me to look at rocks and say "yeah I weigh the same as like 12 of them"

#7

Vortax

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yeah, i weigh about 1/3 grizzly bears

#10

TakoSaki

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the only acceptable use of freedom units is for height

#11

Chunkio_but_sanest

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"what's the height of statue of liberty?"
"305 Feet"

????
whose feets are those?? helllooooo??

#12

Vortax

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"what's the weight of the statue of liberty?"
"a few million stones"

#15

TakoSaki

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uk goofy as fuck for still using stone icl

#16

Vortax

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they use stones for weight and pounds for money😂

#24

strawberrymeow

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nobody uses stone KG is better

#27

Chunkio_but_sanest

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Kilogram but for american it weight around 1 million cheeseburgers

#31

yukky

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the teeth plaque on those british teeth gotta weigh at least 30 pounds

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#13

TakoSaki

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DID SOMEONE SAY FEET?????? 👅👅👅👅👅👅

#58

PRXRoach

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feet! 😳😳

#17

flanador

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rent free

#19

Chunkio_but_sanest

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almost as free as universal healthcare. wait a minute..

#20

yukky

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lmk how long that appointment takes or even if you can get one 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

#21

flanador

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don't remind bro why he can have access to "free" healthcare

#23

TakoSaki

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cause his taxpayer money doesnt all go into the military ☠☠☠☠☠

#26

yukky

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🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

eat these tariffs 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

#32

flanador

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Best investment ever :)

#33

Cheasle2

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You can get one within 24 hours for almost anything

#35

yukky

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upside down country

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you lost in war against emus

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lmk when u guys can populate more than your coastal areas

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#43

TakoSaki

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we lose war against emus (big strong bird very dangerous)
america lose war against rice farmers (pitchfork and bamboo hat >>>>>>>>> $176 billion usd)

#46

yukky

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176 billion is nothing

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can’t lose if you write history

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#47

TakoSaki

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only thing americans know how to write is the mcdonald menu

#48

yukky

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unoriginal and uninventive joke but don’t worry we, the freedom fighters, will carry innovations and also comedy 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

#18

Conceit

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Because it used to be the system of choice (British actually invented it I believe) and then we never switched over because we're lazy and "it would cost too much"

#22

ALoKi007

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Bro created a whole thread just to bully Americans in the name of units 💀💀💀

#25

TakoSaki

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based as fuck honestly

#29

ALoKi007

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It's 1800's thing though.......

#34

yukky

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siding with the british ?

is this a cuck fetish?

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#44

ALoKi007

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We use the same metric system 😭

#36

Cheasle2

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They dont use metric because they're the most stubborn, fearful of change nation on the planet 😂

#40

yukky

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no need to change when you’re right

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#39

yessirsedi

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we love our grub why you hating cheeseburgers

#42

yukky

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wait til these fuckers eat wingstop 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

#45

Chunkio_but_sanest

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I'm sorry I love cheeseburgers, to pay my sin I will eat 100 cheeseburgers a day to be as obese as I can

#52

yessirsedi

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atta kid

#49

Hashib

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you guys should've done something when you colonized them.

#50

flanador

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Operation Praying Mantis + nice flair

#51

LouBag

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When you’re happy do you sKilometer?

Nope

You sMile 😉

🦅 🇺🇸 🍔

#53

ALoKi007

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Smooth