Drop the funnest copypastas you guys have down :D
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i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
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"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's b"
ASPAS FULL OF KNIVES, JETT IS WITH YOU, BLESSED SMOKE AMONG THE PRO PLAYERS AND BLESSED IS THE ACE OF YOUR KING ASPAS. ASPAS MARIA SON OF SAADHAK, PLAY FOR US BRAZILIANS NOW AND AT THE HOUR OF OUR VICTORY, AMEN.... SACY OUR, WHO ARE IN HEAVEN HALLOWED BE OUR DRONE COME TO US TO YOUR SPOT MAY THE DOUBLE SHOK BE DONE IN THE BIND AS IN THE HAVEN THE ACE OURS OF EVERY DAY GIVE US TODAY FORGIVE OUR PICKS JUST LIKE WE FORGIVE THE BUSY GRINGOS DON'T LET THEM FALL INTO EMOTION!!!
I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN! I WANNA FUCK YOU! CAN I FUCK YOU! SURE YOU CAN!
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+-------------------------------------+Ardiis stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta players like Cned or Nukkye or Sayf. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Stax. The seeded bread buns? It was Stax’s cheeks as he squatted on Ardiis’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Stax’s knife. The mayo? You know what it is.
Punjabi "FNS" Methamphetamine was a Dungeons and Dragons character who rolled a natural 20 on Intelligence and a natural 1 on Aim. After stacking enough points on his Intelligence stat he gained sentience and transcended into our reality, where he has since pursued careers as a professional player of tactical first person shooter "Counter-Strike" and its cartoon sequel "Valarante".
The year is 2022 rostermania has begun.
NRG has offered the optic core contracts since they wanted to keep SOM and couldnt afford YAY. Chet is in shambles as he watches his masterpiece crumble before him. So he develops a master plan. After recently learning that NAVI plans to pick up the previous FPX roster (minus ardiis due to his high asking price) Chet knows that this EU fraud will be a perfect scapegoat. So NRG pick him up for a lower price now that his original plans have fallen though. Chet tells YAY to accept the bag from C9 and purposefully underperform at LOCK/IN. They will be reunited soon.
Slowly the Optic core brainwash ardiis, knowing he will make a bad image for himself.
"its okay to say the n word while singing a song"- FNS to ardiis after scrims.
"LOUD definitely had scrim leaks dont worry that loss was not your fault keith"- crashies to ardiis after LOCK//IN loss.
Slowly ardiis makes more and more slip ups on stream and Chet knows its time for him to shine. After CNED's lack luster performance week one and Ardiis's complete failure against LEV, his mental is in shambles.
"I cant believe your spot on your old team was taken by that fraud. Now you are stuck in this mid region getting flamed by all Optic and NRG fans. I honestly feel bad for you"- Chet to ardiis right after getting murdered by LEV.
Ardiis has had enough. That night on stream he curses out all south americans and CNED for ruining his career, throwing a tantrum on how all his teammates said that his performance wasnt his fault, how can he be expected to perform under all this pressure???
Chet springs the trap, taking to twitter how all of his claims are false and how no NRG members have ever endorsed his behavior. NRG corporate is forced to let Ardiis go and they pick up YAY for thrift store prices since his manager knows he is desperate to play on a team.
NRG do not lose another map that season.
I really like TenZ. I like TenZ A LOT. I think about him in the bathtub. I really like when he plays Aimlab. He is so great at Gridshot. TenZ is a hard carry for his team. TenZ doesn’t even need a team. TenZ can 1v5 any team. TenZ is the best Jett. TenZ is the #1 NA. Anyone who doesn’t think TenZ is the best player should think again. TenZ is great.
STATS
mwzera https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/VK%20mwzera%234324/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all cNed https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/ACE%20cNed%23carry/overview?season=all TenZ https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/SEN%20TenZ%230505/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all
DEATHMATCH STATS mwzera - 86% win rate (thats the insaniest thing ive seen in a while) cNed - stats not availiable TenZ - 73% win rate
RANKED STATS mwzera - 66.3% winrate (MVP of 95% of the matches) proof here https://imgur.com/StiJmpg cNed - 53.5% winrate (MVP of 13% of the matches) TenZ - 60.4% winrate (MVP of 15% of the matches)
can you take your time to appreciate how insane mwzera is? without a doubt the most talented player to ever touch the game
I'll try to explain briefly why I think he is the best player in the world Despite his insane aim and movement The best way to know if a player is a good duelist is RAZE. There is a BIG difference between a good duelist and a jett abuser If he is a good duelist, he needs to be good with raze.
heat? not good with raze aspas? not good with raze xand? not good with raze tenz? not good with raze cned? not good with raze scream? not good with raze d3ffo? not good with raze derke? not good with raze
Thats why I think he is undoubtely the best player in the world. If RIOT by any means decides to nerf jett and shift the meta we prolly not gonna even hear names like cned and tenz again :> He is not killing 40+ per map because when he joined VK he was forced to play a different role because heat is already a main jett... and lets be honest, every single duelist nowadays gets 20+ kills per map because team and setups are basically built around you (even steel managed to get 20 kills with it https://www.vlr.gg/29398/sentinels-vs-100-thieves-champions-tour-north-america-stage-3-challengers-playoffs-gf/?game=46692&tab=overview)
Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.
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