In the Sacy and Yay thread, yay said this about changing as a person:
https://www.vlr.gg/post/1058416/sacy-talks-about-yay
I was shitty to some people in the past. ngl to this day its probably one of my biggest regrets as a person.
before valorant/csgo, I used to watch COD where it was a constant norm and thought success equated to shit talk. in csgo, I put other people down to try and bring up my own confidence. in reality, I did this because I was unhappy as a person. I had a lot of problems both related to a toxic environment at home, and just in my life.
near the start of beta for VALORANT. I had a period of 3-4 months in which I was severely depressed (legitimately bed ridden for that duration). it's a feeling I wish no one has to experience ever. during that period, I had family members essentially even making it worse. won't go into too much detail, but essentially it was daily pressure of "this is God's way of punishing you as you're not following his plan".
all in all, to get out of that hole my perspective changed a ton. I didn't want to be constantly unhappy nor did I want to contribute to ruining another person's day. plus I started to question why I felt the way I did about X. fast forward a month and I started to grind VALORANT and eventually got my shot on a team. this lead to me eventually getting evicted out of my household as I wanted to pursue VALORANT over a traditional job (plus I took the COVID vaccine/ + other religion stuff).
I really do appreciate though the comments here. I'm glad I'm able to have a positive even if small for people who I don't know. not perfect by any means, but hey I'm trying my best.
My inspiration, man. More people need to be like this.
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