i need advice

I currently have no life, I have read over 1000 mangas and over 100 animes, probably 20 Light novels, really bad porn addiction, I jack off like 1 time a day, basically I have no life rn, I feel like trash, being a fan of this shit sucks, I look back at my old self and I regret treating my ex gf like trash always getting mad at her whenever she would disturb me or call me while I’m playing, and only chatting her when I need notes for school, I can’t even look at people irl anymore, I would get invited but would turn them down because I would rather talk to them online than let them see my pathetic self, I easily get mad at my parents and siblings as well as cousins, I can’t even do good at school anymore, and im always getting forgetful by the day, do you have advice on how I can improve on myself

I really reflected on myself when I saw
ME! ME! ME!
good ending
and porn facts by Mio Honda

I’m asking vlr.gg users because I would rather stay anonymous and ask what strangers would do, than to embarrass myself asking advice from families and friends, I was going to do this on twitter but many of my irl friends follow me there, plus this is the only forum site I know aside from hltv, but hltv guys are freaks and you guys seem a bit calmer, please share any piece of advice you can down below

Start doing yoga ,maditation , gym and listen to music more.....You should have a hobby or just study to distract yourself....

bruh try more socialize with other person

As long as you are recognizing your own faults and flaws as a person, you should be able to correct them with time
Also maybe try talking to your parents too, they are they people that love you the most, they would try their best to help you out of your situation, or even an older sibling
Also, ur friends wont see you as pathetic if they are true friends

tonyhart7 [#3]

bruh try more socialize with other person

4head

tonyhart7 [#3]

bruh try more socialize with other person

making a friend to talk is most easiest way

tonyhart7 [#6]

making a friend to talk is most easiest way

i have friends to talk to anytime but i dont have the confidence to go to them irl anymore and i can really only talk to them online :(

thanks for the advice guys it means a lot

deathlyclaws [#2]

Start doing yoga ,maditation , gym and listen to music more.....You should have a hobby or just study to distract yourself....

aight thanks im probably gonna start hitting up the gym next week hopefully, but my physique isnt that great im like a stick, what if other people will judge me?

i recommend exercising and stretching! !it might seem not related, but it can totally help you! you don't need to do the hard ones instantly, go incremental! and meditation!

Acro_ [#9]

aight thanks im probably gonna start hitting up the gym next week hopefully, but my physique isnt that great im like a stick, what if other people will judge me?

then just get some weights and do it at home, or go with a friend. honestly no one really cares ab what u look like except maybe the insecure gym rats who want to ego u

Acro_ [#7]

i have friends to talk to anytime but i dont have the confidence to go to them irl anymore and i can really only talk to them online :(

having a best friend to talk ur problem different than talk to ur 'friend'

a friend who really care about you, accept u matter what is friend what I mean
I been there albeit not really fcked up as you do

the first time you must do now find a good hobby that you can spend without do any negative way

Acro_ [#9]

aight thanks im probably gonna start hitting up the gym next week hopefully, but my physique isnt that great im like a stick, what if other people will judge me?

relax brother everyone in the gym has the same goal, to get fit. theres no reason to be shy

idk bro
i hate myself...i was totally changed compared to before pandemic and after pandemic.
i am not able to be myself (before pandemic).
:(

Acro_ [#9]

aight thanks im probably gonna start hitting up the gym next week hopefully, but my physique isnt that great im like a stick, what if other people will judge me?

at least you’re not grossly overweight

tonyhart7 [#12]

having a best friend to talk ur problem different than talk to ur 'friend'

a friend who really care about you, accept u matter what is friend what I mean
I been there albeit not really fcked up as you do

the first time you must do now find a good hobby that you can spend without do any negative way

aight man im gonna start talking to them more often now, hopefully i can reconnect again with my old friends :)

toofan1 [#14]

idk bro
i hate myself...i was totally changed compared to before pandemic and after pandemic.
i am not able to be myself (before pandemic).
:(

maybe you can also apply the advice that people are giving in this thread since i think our problems are both similar where we arent the same people back then and now and want to improve ourselves

the fact that you want help and are admitting to your faults already shows that you're improving yourself so you're doing great and keep it up! :)

i'd say the small things really help keep me sane. like keeping up with basic hygiene, taking time for yourself, exercising, etc. focus on making yourself okay first; once you do that, it's easier to be a kinder person to others which will repeat the cycle

Take it one step at a time and be in the moment whether it's at school, with friends, family, etc; it's not gonna be perfect. Making progress is the goal, there's no such thing as a perfect life or a flawless individual, and even the smallest amounts of progress count

And you can always come back to vlr or talk to your online friends or strangers about life. you got this! I'm really proud of you, stranger :D

I jack off like 1 time a day

That's a lot? 0-0

1234567890 [#18]

the fact that you want help and are admitting to your faults already shows that you're improving yourself so you're doing great and keep it up! :)

i'd say the small things really help keep me sane. like keeping up with basic hygiene, taking time for yourself, exercising, etc. focus on making yourself okay first; once you do that, it's easier to be a kinder person to others which will repeat the cycle

Take it one step at a time and be in the moment whether it's at school, with friends, family, etc; it's not gonna be perfect. Making progress is the goal, there's no such thing as a perfect life or a flawless individual, and even the smallest amounts of progress count

And you can always come back to vlr or talk to your online friends or strangers about life. you got this! I'm really proud of you, stranger :D

thanks stranger :)

Self reflection is good, you made the first step.

Honestly a lot of ppl have porn addiction if I remember the stats correctly, I think it's something that can be fixed later, and as long as it isn't literally impacting your way of thinking, it should be fine. There are some great videos on this stuff, the first month or so is very hard though, so I would delegate it to a month with very low stress, because otherwise decision fatigue will legit either make you fail or be even more stressed. Afterwards, you will feel much better about yourself.

A lot of these things feel like just byproducts of stress and laziness COVID, as most people have stated, exercising or meditation will get a lot of the stress out and just get your mental back into place.

Imo, I feel like getting a tutor is huge help though, it's not going to make you feel better about yourself, but it will tackle 2 of your current problems: School and human interaction. It gives yourself an excuse to learn more and feel like a better person, it doesn't even need to be math, it can be English, Science, Social studies, literally anything as long as you feel as though you can have enough passion to have meaningful conversations on the subject and actually care about it.

I guess hitting the gym and getting a diet is def the best option, but I know it's hard, because as much as people say it's only 30 minutes, you only have so many 30 minutes in a day. Try just doing like 20 squats or even just 10 pushups, as long as it's some movement, it will at least brighten your brain. I just do like 40 squats before each val match just to get some adrenaline going, because it helps me play more consistently LOL.

Asphyxia [#21]

Self reflection is good, you made the first step.

Honestly a lot of ppl have porn addiction if I remember the stats correctly, I think it's something that can be fixed later, and as long as it isn't literally impacting your way of thinking, it should be fine. There are some great videos on this stuff, the first month or so is very hard though, so I would delegate it to a month with very low stress, because otherwise decision fatigue will legit either make you fail or be even more stressed. Afterwards, you will feel much better about yourself.

A lot of these things feel like just byproducts of stress and laziness COVID, as most people have stated, exercising or meditation will get a lot of the stress out and just get your mental back into place.

Imo, I feel like getting a tutor is huge help though, it's not going to make you feel better about yourself, but it will tackle 2 of your current problems: School and human interaction. It gives yourself an excuse to learn more and feel like a better person, it doesn't even need to be math, it can be English, Science, Social studies, literally anything as long as you feel as though you can have enough passion to have meaningful conversations on the subject and actually care about it.

I guess hitting the gym and getting a diet is def the best option, but I know it's hard, because as much as people say it's only 30 minutes, you only have so many 30 minutes in a day. Try just doing like 20 squats or even just 10 pushups, as long as it's some movement, it will at least brighten your brain. I just do like 40 squats before each val match just to get some adrenaline going, because it helps me play more consistently LOL.

thanks man : )

Whats the porn fact by mio honda? Also kaname momojiro and yume nikaidou more good

Acro_ [#22]

thanks man : )

But get a good tutor, it might cost a lot though. I know there are a lot of like youth volunteer opportunities for like tutoring and stuff, but generally I feel very weirded out with that stuff, because they are like your age, why u pay them LOL. I mean for math it def does help bc some ppl are just insanely cracked, but I find for science, english, and like most other things, it's better to get the high quality tutors, my writing has improved by so much after my tutor. I legitimately felt like there was no future for me at all in english, but now I know that I can write stuff, even if it's stylistically very bad for school(very good for debate though and persuasive writing). It exists, and that's all that matters for me at least.

fatpoipoiiii [#23]

Whats the porn fact by mio honda? Also kaname momojiro and yume nikaidou more good

KEKW

Acro_ [#9]

aight thanks im probably gonna start hitting up the gym next week hopefully, but my physique isnt that great im like a stick, what if other people will judge me?

Stop worrying about everything and what others think

Asphyxia [#24]

But get a good tutor, it might cost a lot though. I know there are a lot of like youth volunteer opportunities for like tutoring and stuff, but generally I feel very weirded out with that stuff, because they are like your age, why u pay them LOL. I mean for math it def does help bc some ppl are just insanely cracked, but I find for science, english, and like most other things, it's better to get the high quality tutors, my writing has improved by so much after my tutor. I legitimately felt like there was no future for me at all in english, but now I know that I can write stuff, even if it's stylistically very bad for school(very good for debate though and persuasive writing). It exists, and that's all that matters for me at least.

imma just study with my friends in the mean time, not irl though maybe on discord until i feel more confident to go to their houses and meet up, really thank you for the advice asphyxia

fatpoipoiiii [#23]

Whats the porn fact by mio honda? Also kaname momojiro and yume nikaidou more good

some shitpost i saw on hltv search it up on yt, its like really cute but also really informative about porn addiction

Acro_ [#22]

thanks man : )

Also here's the website for the #NoFap movement. I think that a lot of the people here would prob be your first resource to stop porn addiction, I think the other problems are more concerning, but if you can eliminate your porn addiction, that is def great.
https://nofap.com

Here is also ASAP science's video on the science of quitting porn. I just find it fascinating.
https://youtu.be/d1v170oM67U

fatpoipoiiii [#23]

Whats the porn fact by mio honda? Also kaname momojiro and yume nikaidou more good

no not the JAV actresses 💀

schlong [#11]

then just get some weights and do it at home, or go with a friend. honestly no one really cares ab what u look like except maybe the insecure gym rats who want to ego u

Yea, only pieces of shit would care what you look like at the gym lol.

i don't jack off not bcs its not healthy but bcs to me it means not being able to control ur impulses start goin to gym and find passion and do that

Gsus [#32]

i don't jack off not bcs its not healthy but bcs to me it means not being able to control ur impulses start goin to gym and find passion and do that

rare ULTRA COMMON Gsus "W"

Set yourself a goal, so you have something to strive for.
Practice some good habits and you will forget about your problems sooner or later.

Acro_ [#9]

aight thanks im probably gonna start hitting up the gym next week hopefully, but my physique isnt that great im like a stick, what if other people will judge me?

you would be surprised by how supportive people are in the gym to someone getting started, you can also wear a hoodie if you really want to

focus on doing more productive things every day, even if you only are able to do a little bit more, that is still progress and you are doing more than the day before

this especially applies to the porn addiction since nobody is able to just quit overnight, if you do it every day, start off by just not doing it for a whole day, if you can get 7 days a week down to 4-5 days a week that is a lot of progress

On the top of my head, start doing something you think is cool but have never tried, start biking, learn how to cook, draw, take photos and edit them, watch movies and tv shows. you will probably not like 80% of the things you try but that way you can learn more about yourself as a person.

One thing i noticed from your text is that you are feeling guilty, and i strongly recommend that once you start getting to know you more you should start doing amendments to the people you think you were rude to, your family and your ex gf.

Congrats on being able to talk about it, it takes courage to do it and we're here to help you, if you need anymore help, ask for it and we can talk on twitter.

damn bro u only jack of once a day?
u shud be proud
ive descended to unprecedented levels
all u have to do is close ur pc and get out of the house more and ig stop watching anime
try having a goal in life and give ur 100% TO ACHIEVE IT

SpaceCow [#19]

I jack off like 1 time a day

That's a lot? 0-0

is it?
now im feeling bad for doing it twice

Acro_ [#30]

no not the JAV actresses 💀

i just realize by giving u jav actress name didnt help ur addiction hahaha. and about ur condition, i think ur doing good. ciro are right, realizing ur mistake already make u better than most person. rather than going to gym, my advice doing thing that really interest u. youtube help a lot for finding ur new hobby. u could try watching origami video and get interested. or maybe drawing? but if u got interest in gym then go ahead. just remember this, life itself are not competiton. everybody got their own pace to "success" by their definition.

it seems u have temper issue too. try thinking other people perspective too. back in the days i didnt realize how egoistic myself are untill big problem come. i really deppresed about it because i realize how shit i am as a person. but people always learning. its always okay to be wrong, thats perfectly normal. u learn, u move forward become better.

and last, this advice really save my life. somebody said to me, if u holding rock for one hour ur hand not gonna hurt. if u hold it for 5 hour ur hand starting to hurt. hold it for 1 week and ur hand will hurt like hell. that rock could symbolize our problem. its good u realize ur problem, but if u keep thinking it theres nothing good about it. sometimes time are the best medicine, patience while fixing ur problem and keep happy thought to yourself. everyday im battling suicidal thought but this advice really make me look forward to future. overthinking a bitch afterall.

goodluck bro. virtual hug for u! i knew u could do it bro i trust u

fatpoipoiiii [#40]

i just realize by giving u jav actress name didnt help ur addiction hahaha. and about ur condition, i think ur doing good. ciro are right, realizing ur mistake already make u better than most person. rather than going to gym, my advice doing thing that really interest u. youtube help a lot for finding ur new hobby. u could try watching origami video and get interested. or maybe drawing? but if u got interest in gym then go ahead. just remember this, life itself are not competiton. everybody got their own pace to "success" by their definition.

it seems u have temper issue too. try thinking other people perspective too. back in the days i didnt realize how egoistic myself are untill big problem come. i really deppresed about it because i realize how shit i am as a person. but people always learning. its always okay to be wrong, thats perfectly normal. u learn, u move forward become better.

and last, this advice really save my life. somebody said to me, if u holding rock for one hour ur hand not gonna hurt. if u hold it for 5 hour ur hand starting to hurt. hold it for 1 week and ur hand will hurt like hell. that rock could symbolize our problem. its good u realize ur problem, but if u keep thinking it theres nothing good about it. sometimes time are the best medicine, patience while fixing ur problem and keep happy thought to yourself. everyday im battling suicidal thought but this advice really make me look forward to future. overthinking a bitch afterall.

goodluck bro. virtual hug for u! i knew u could do it bro i trust u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGTfEfVcMqA

Asphyxia [#41]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGTfEfVcMqA

yo acro watch this vid

fatpoipoiiii [#42]

yo acro watch this vid

thanks guys

jacking off once a day is normal dont worry abt it and there are ppl who read 10000+ mangas so i dont really think you have problems

Pugaller [#44]

jacking off once a day is normal dont worry abt it and there are ppl who read 10000+ mangas so i dont really think you have problems

ikr how is this guy thinking thats a lot

Jacking off once a day isn’t that bad

Zephyros [#39]

is it?
now im feeling bad for doing it twice

ok man

Everyone here giving you a lot of great advices. Choose the one that you are more into, id say gym is the bread and butter for everyone.
So goodluck acro, hope you can be the one you want to be!

Something that helps me with my struggles is reading the Bible and praying. I know not everyone would want to do that but it helps me and could help you

Beating your meat is actually good 👍 just dont do 10 times everyday

Erik [#49]

Something that helps me with my struggles is reading the Bible and praying. I know not everyone would want to do that but it helps me and could help you

i'll try reading it, i heard it has some pretty interesting stories

Acro_ [#51]

i'll try reading it, i heard it has some pretty interesting stories

If you do read, look for something in the New Testament so from book of Matthew forward.

andrewdamf [#50]

Beating your meat is actually good 👍 just dont do 10 times everyday

is it okay to do it 11 times a day?

fatpoipoiiii [#53]

is it okay to do it 11 times a day?

You got me with this one!

Acro_ [#51]

i'll try reading it, i heard it has some pretty interesting stories

I would suggest you to read other holy books..like Quran..and hear religious lectures
Connect with God...explore other religions..
We grew and practiced the religion of our parents and we generally don't get a chance to see what really other religions talk about
I see this as a opportunity for you to think about it..I would suggest you to start from Islam..
You can start with this..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-1fE5opgU8
All the best
May God guide us all..

andrewdamf [#54]

You got me with this one!

hehe im feri funi m8

AKab279 [#55]

I would suggest you to read other holy books..like Quran..and hear religious lectures
Connect with God...explore other religions..
We grew and practiced the religion of our parents and we generally don't get a chance to see what really other religions talk about
I see this as a opportunity for you to think about it..I would suggest you to start from Islam..
You can start with this..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-1fE5opgU8
All the best
May God guide us all..

thanks man i might try reading the quaran together with the bible too

Pugaller [#44]

jacking off once a day is normal dont worry abt it and there are ppl who read 10000+ mangas so i dont really think you have problems

It would've been fine if it wasn't impacting his life or parts of it. But it clearly doesnt seem the case.

Homies broken eh,
This might be help but might be not helping you at all
But I'm sure this is the fastest way if it works for you.

tl;dr you're too soft,

DELUSIONAL_FANS_DESTROYER [#59]

Homies broken eh,
This might be help but might be not helping you at all
But I'm sure this is the fastest way if it works for you.

tl;dr you're too soft,

Go crazy dude,
Go fuck some bitches, go to prostitution, go drunk, beat some stranger, leave your home,
Just do whatever you wanna do, and do what you never think would do.

In 2/3 month if you still have that little candle in your heart, you'll become a great person.
If not, most likely you'll lost your way in the dark. Just search the light at that point.

broken but its mostly my fault, but man idk if i can beat up strangers with my arms that would snap at one slap 💀, and yeah i have been doing better recently, idk if i wanna follow your advice though, but thanks for it anyway! :)

I have been in an eerily similar situation where I had way too many manga that I had read, didn't talk to anyone, treated ppl around me like shit, preferred texting over socializing, masturbating too much. The first thing I did was quit cold turkey over the manga and anime. I deleted all of the apps off of my phone and went into parental controls to physically block sites where I could access them. I'm assuming your in school, so I would also suggest joining clubs, volunteering, and just finding hobbies that will do more help than harm. Like other people said, going to the Gym is very helpful, but it's also a hard commitment to make, so you don't have to force yourself on a strict regimen. Maybe set a goal like twice a week or smth. On your fear of people thinking that you're pathetic: try to not to pay attention to them. Try to find people who accept you, and stick with them. If you can't find any irl using school, try socializing with people in a hobby (one reason why I recommend volunteering). Finally, if you're old enough, and this is going to sound very strange but, find a part time job. Doesn't have to be a service job, but that could also be beneficial. Being forced into an uncomfortable social situation will feel really strange and/or horrible at first, but soon you will probably find yourself making friends with coworkers. I know this is a lot to do and it is a drastic change, as I'm still struggling to improve myself on a lot of these aspects, but since I've done all this, my mentality has been much better. Hope this helps ^_^

ItzYaBoiNUB [#61]

I have been in an eerily similar situation where I had way too many manga that I had read, didn't talk to anyone, treated ppl around me like shit, preferred texting over socializing, masturbating too much. The first thing I did was quit cold turkey over the manga and anime. I deleted all of the apps off of my phone and went into parental controls to physically block sites where I could access them. I'm assuming your in school, so I would also suggest joining clubs, volunteering, and just finding hobbies that will do more help than harm. Like other people said, going to the Gym is very helpful, but it's also a hard commitment to make, so you don't have to force yourself on a strict regimen. Maybe set a goal like twice a week or smth. On your fear of people thinking that you're pathetic: try to not to pay attention to them. Try to find people who accept you, and stick with them. If you can't find any irl using school, try socializing with people in a hobby (one reason why I recommend volunteering). Finally, if you're old enough, and this is going to sound very strange but, find a part time job. Doesn't have to be a service job, but that could also be beneficial. Being forced into an uncomfortable social situation will feel really strange and/or horrible at first, but soon you will probably find yourself making friends with coworkers. I know this is a lot to do and it is a drastic change, as I'm still struggling to improve myself on a lot of these aspects, but since I've done all this, my mentality has been much better. Hope this helps ^_^

i think this advice would really help me in my current situation rn, thanks man!!! :)

All good

Acro_ [#60]

broken but its mostly my fault, but man idk if i can beat up strangers with my arms that would snap at one slap 💀, and yeah i have been doing better recently, idk if i wanna follow your advice though, but thanks for it anyway! :)

All good,
Glad you already feel better, just hit me if you can't get out of the cycle in a few months.

dJ3096 [#63]

All good

aight man thanks for the advice!

Sometimes we do people wrong because we don't know how to do right by somebody. Because doing right by people takes practice, like everything does. What would I do in your situation? To get out of the emotional rut? I'd start volunteering at school. Try helping more around the house. Like clean the garage for Dad. Do the gardening for mom. And don't backtalk anyone. Try letting other people have the last word. Then you'll see your life improve. Because all in all, we have to pick our own battles. That's how we succeed.

thef33nyx [#66]

Sometimes we do people wrong because we don't know how to do right by somebody. Because doing right by people takes practice, like everything does. What would I do in your situation? To get out of the emotional rut? I'd start volunteering at school. Try helping more around the house. Like clean the garage for Dad. Do the gardening for mom. And don't backtalk anyone. Try letting other people have the last word. Then you'll see your life improve. Because all in all, we have to pick our own battles. That's how we succeed.

thanks man 🙏

Acro_ [#57]

thanks man i might try reading the quaran together with the bible too

Good ..