Funniest Copypastas

what are the funniest copypastas that you know?
I'll go first:
Last week I saw Wardaddy while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...

I’m telling you, Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bunny hopped out the door

"Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.

I was on a date with my girlfriend. She seemed off. I asked her what was wrong, and she replied “Our relationship is Sentinels”

I burst into tears, our relationship was finished

https://youtu.be/owns7GqNRiM

any gifters im poor i live in a box and im watching your stream using mcds wifi on my nintendo DS but the lady is about to kick me out because i didnt buy anything itll make my week if i was subbed to this goat

NGL, 100T valorant is a joke. Guess the management doesn't understand How you can set the strategies even without replacing players. I guess, They should just drop the entire roaster. There won't be any team synergical consistency since they keep replacing the players. and yeah Hiko should stop baiting

"Cry is free" is one constantly used sentence to users who are complaining about something. But what most people doesn't know, is that this sentence is actually a huge lie.
As far as we know, tears consists of water and 0,9 gram salt per litre. And both of these ingredients are not free.
Here I listed the price of 10 litre tears for the countries of the G8.
I used the following formula (price is in US Dollar):
(price 100 gram salt/100)x9 + (price 1 cubic litre water/100) = price 10 litre tears
France: 0,20 $
Italy: 0,17 $
Germany: 0,19 $
United Kingdom: 0,22 $
USA: 0,18 $
Canada: 0,18 $
Japan: 0,18 $
Russia: 0,16 $
That means russia has the cheapest cry. (Hail Communism)
Thank you for reading.

TSM wins Champion
TS Mishra University or TSM is a Nigerian hospital in UP, India with notable students like Mathuresh Wardhal (Matt Wardell)
Yasine Subroza Kumar, Hamza hazed Khan (recently moved to Not Really Good chess org), and love Leviathan Kush. Best team in Gully Cricket 2020 but no results in ODI 2021. They are looking to hire Lohar "Steel" Kissan to increase their chances of making it to FIFA 2022.
~ via downcomer
Latest addition : Sources say that they also have a secret coach Harpreet "hikaru" Kaushal from chess.com after Chatrapati "Chet" Chatur's failed attempt at making them play the game like CSGO (fantasy anime game set in 2055 featuring waifus and other 2d grills)

Rafique "RawkAss" Rizwan is a professional Overwatch electronic sport player from Karachi, Pakistan who used to play for the Balochistan Outlaws. He's currently the couch for the amateur Valorant team SentinLs. He's leading them towards success with meta defining tactics such as "Tenz go kill" and "Sick go clutch". Truly one of the couches of all time

Quick reminder that NA is quiet as fuck since cNed destroyed them in berlin and they only won because team hold cNed back. Quick reminder that Gold2 destroyed your Sentinels Superstar Team. Quick reminder that Gambit destroyed everyone of you. Quick reminder that you are all quiet since overrated NA onliner TenZ did nothing. Only NA GOATS are yay, aleksandar, crashies.

MAN I HECKING LOVE TenZ BatChest POGGERS MOUSE GRIP BatChest KYDAE BatChest SENTINELS BatChest FLICK PogChamp WOWZERS
IF TENZ HAS 10 FANS, I'M ONE OF THEM
IF TENZ HAS 5 FANS, I'M ONE OF THEM
IF TENZ HAS 0 FANS, MEANS I AM NO LONGER ON EARTH
IF WORLD IS AGAINST TENZ THEN I'M AGAINST THE WORLD
#TENZ4LYFE
#GETINMETENZ

Tenjzir “Tenz” Rajesh is an Indian Valorant professional player playing for Sentinels, an electrical sports (E-sport) organization located in Delhi, India. He is known for his offline performance one tapping bots and his best map is The Range

Local Michigan news is reporting a toxic cloud above areas surrounding Detroit. Scientists believe the toxic cloud is being caused by the boomer streamer Hiko who is currently malding and being toxic to his teammates in the video game Valorant. More on this at 11.

TSM WARDELL : Hello? DD8? 😀📞 Have you received the money??? 😀📞 This stupid 50 year old Nissan guy is op-diffing me on Chamber, I need you to type something in all-chat NOW… 😀📞 ….Nice, I’ll get Subroza to tweet about it now. 😀📞 Pleasure doing business with you 😀📞

by Issax28

TSM is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills.

⢰⣶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶
⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⣹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿
⠄⠤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠠⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶
⢠⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⡉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛
⢸⣿⡀⠄⠈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣴⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⡟⠋⠈⠻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠈⠻⠿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⣄⣠⣄⠛⠟⠃⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣰⣦⣼⣿⣿⡿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Team shit mid lost to this

Reality check!

Na getting absolutely destroyed on this tournament, the most important one since Valorant came out!
You have no more excuses, NA is so trash on tactical FPS and other esports game
13 major for EU on CS GO, 1 for NA what a joke
On Valorant EU already dominating the scene.

The only things you can win on is COD and Halo with aderall and aim assists nice achievements

As a European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so fucking free.

13-0-------13-0-13-0-----------------------------------13-0-13-0-13-0
13-0-----13-0------13-0------------------------------ 13-0-----------13-0
13-0------------------13-0------------------------------13-0--------------13-0
13-0-----------13-0-13-0-------13-0-13-0------13-0---------------13-0
13-0-------------------13-0-------13-0-13-0------13-0---------------13-0
13-0-------------------13-0-----------------------------13-0-------------13-0
13-0-----13-0-------13-0------------------------------13-0-----------13-0
13-0---------13-0-13-0---------------------------------13-0-13-0-13-0

13-0-----------13-0-----13-0-13-0-13-0------13-0-----------13-0------13-0------------------------13-0
13-0--------13-0--------13-0----------------------13-0--------13-0---------13-0------------------------13-0
13-0---13-0-------------13-0----------------------13-0---13-0--------------13-0------------------------13-0
13-0-13-0---------------13-0-13-0-13-0------13-0-13-0----------------13-0------------------------13-0
13-0---13-0-------------13-0----------------------13-0---13-0--------------13-0--------13-0---------13-0
13-0-------13-0---------13-0----------------------13-0-------13-0----------13-0--------13-0---------13-0
13-0-----------13-0-----13-0----------------------13-0-----------13-0------13-0---13-0---13-0----13-0
13-0-------------13-0---13-0-13-0-13-0------13-0-------------13-0----13-0-13-0--------13-0-13-0

if WARDELL👽and my girl👧😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one😤😬Catch me at the Ascent B site🚪🔴 with my boy on Chamber 🌈🕰

ronickel so scary rusisan man make all liquid weak men do liquid in pants.. lost to sabtogge too much water in wawater bottle... gambit should get deflorized for cheater and unfair win ...

Hey [insert player/team here] my son is a huge fan of yours. Anyway over the past few days of watching you play this game hes got much better at playing baseball (he plays in the 11-13 year old division). I just wanted to stop by and thank you for teaching him how to throw so well.

Summary:
Shots 1-5: Clearly missed.
Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control).
Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses.
Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.

I cannot any more hide
Sentinels is my pride
Redemption arc or I do ......
I the groom, dapr my bride
SicK will always be my side
Rawkus will guide, ShahZam decide
Zombs is the anchor we provide
Tenz do wee woo and opponents died
Sentinels is my pride
I cannot any more hide

📞Hello?📞Is this the OP Academy?📞I would like a refund please📞I’m paying to shoot like Wardell not Whiffdell📞He do miss📞

"all good” is such a weak mindset. you are ok with what happened, you are ok with losing. when you stop getting angry after losing, you’ve lost twice. there’s always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.

100T is my favorite team! i love their COD brand and nadeshot is my daddy!!! if u don’t like 100T ur pissed cause you don’t have as many subs as courageJD LMFAO! yeah we may not win in anything except pisslow controller games, but nadeshot makes more money than ur whole family!!!

In their upcoming heist, The 100 Thieves Team visited an orphanage in LA. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.

As Asuna buries his head into his hands following his crushing defeat at the hands of four Overwatch players, his phone buzzes. It's the security camera for his mom's house, catching Babybay exiting. It's exactly 7:01 am, 7 gongs ring in the distance.

My mom just entered my room and asked me to stop watching garbage. I told her that VALORANT was a respectable esport with millions of player around the world. She responded: “I know. I was talking about TSM, they’re trash” KEKW.

TSM WARDELL : Hello? COM? 😀📞 Have you received the money??? 😀📞 This stupid 10 year old Kanpeki guy is op-diffing me on Chamber, I need you to type something in all-chat NOW… 😀📞 ….Nice, I’ll get Subroza to tweet about it now. 😀📞 Pleasure doing business with you 😀

I was feeling some serious urges today so I went to my nearest Copium dispensary. To my surprise, there was a massive crowd there, all pushing and shoving each other to get some copium. I tried to ask the people in the crowd why so many of them were there but they kept saying "watch this" and proceeded to throw invisible things at me. I gave up and tried to return home before I stumbled upon a hooded figure watching the crowd from a distance. I went to him and asked what's going on here. The man took his hood off and to my surprise it was none other than Cloud 9 Vanity. He took a deep breath, looked into the sunset and said" They're all TSM fans".

I unfoIIowing v1 vanityyyyyyyyy no shot he goes cloud9....cloud9? come on vanityyyyyyyy u betray v1 how could u do dis. If i was vanity i would sabotage cloud9 from the inside like imposter from amongus