Today when I walk I saw like outside and like I realize that outside is a lot like valorant. When i go through door to go walk outside it like remind me valorant because i know door from double door i wonder whether it was wallbangable then i go further and i realize the wind is like jett who is my favorite agent in the game and she is wind power so yeah real outside is remind me of valorant i hope i can rank up irl too so i can move out of my small home and leave my sad life behind
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I Walked Today
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When I walk outside on a sunny day, I feel like what it would feel if I were me to play against phoenix irl. The sun burns me, which reminds me of hot hands. Then I look into the sun and it feels like being flashed by phoenix. When the day ends, the sun rises again the next day, reminding me of his ult where he comes back to life to hurt me again.
unknown_trash [#5]When I walk outside on a sunny day, I feel like what it would feel if I were me to play against phoenix irl. The sun burns me, which reminds me of hot hands. Then I look into the sun and it feels like being flashed by phoenix. When the day ends, the sun rises again the next day, reminding me of his ult where he comes back to life to hurt me again.
I agree because phoenix is also valorant and i think often when i see people different than me they are like phoenixise and i no longer hate them like my daddy taught me to instead i think the difference awesome because they are like phoenix and i think he is awesomes
EEIU_WATCHER_ANONYMOUS [#9]You stolened this from top comment…
i stole it from the thread bfore this
LMAO
i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
Diebs [#12]i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
Who made this copypasta anyway, I want to thank them. ERMM You sir have just won the internet! A billion reddit gold for you!!!! HAHA, rolled over and showed this to my pregnant wife
bruhmphrey [#13]Who made this copypasta anyway, I want to thank them. ERMM You sir have just won the internet! A billion reddit gold for you!!!! HAHA, rolled over and showed this to my pregnant wife
mrGoudass
Diebs [#12]i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
Haha is this real haa i like
bruhmphrey [#13]Who made this copypasta anyway, I want to thank them. ERMM You sir have just won the internet! A billion reddit gold for you!!!! HAHA, rolled over and showed this to my pregnant wife
I concur. This post has given me a brand new perspective on life. I pray the kind soul who made this copypasta gets all the reddit gold in the world! My pregnant wife laying next to me in my bed agrees with this sentiment.
Subreezy [#17]I concur. This post has given me a brand new perspective on life. I pray the kind soul who made this copypasta gets all the reddit gold in the world! My pregnant wife laying next to me in my bed agrees with this sentiment.
I had almost rolled out of bed onto the floor in pure excitement, if only bernie sanders could personally anoint this post with karma! fwiw, I am a top ranking executive at a not for profit, I will use some of the profits to render upon this post one (1) discerning award! Gold!
EEIU_WATCHER_ANONYMOUS [#8]I agree because phoenix is also valorant and i think often when i see people different than me they are like phoenixise and i no longer hate them like my daddy taught me to instead i think the difference awesome because they are like phoenix and i think he is awesomes
Oh yeah that also reminds me that when the sun sets, the night time also reminds me of phoenix. Amazing how real life is based on valorant !
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