It depends on the day. Some days I am espresso when something good happens. But a lot of days nowadays I am depresso because sometimes I get hit by a train of negative emotions. Guilt, regret, frustration, sadness, anger etc. But I don't have any reason to feel that way because I should be grateful for my position. To everyone else, I seem to be the perfect person, living the dream life and making it all look easy. And yeah it does look easy because it has been for me in terms of academic stuff and just being a good and normal person, but underneath on most days I just feel numb. My sleep schedule is fucked, I'm always tired, I feel emotions really strongly and most days I feel numb. I've been burned out for 3 straight years so I've basically been coasting on most days through my education, and I feel like I can't tell anyone without sounding arrogant or ungrateful because I should be happy that I'm still able to do well if I'm not trying, but it's because I no longer have the energy to try and I know that the moment things start going horribly wrong in my life, I won't be able to recover or dig myself out of that hole. I'm hanging on by a thread most days. So yeah depresso more than espresso.