After Milan's post...

okay so after milan's post i also thought about it and here is my story
It was 18th march 2020 when i had my last class 10 board exam ( Social Science) when the lockdown was announced and all further exams were cancelled , my friends ( my friend group was of the toppers , infact more than toppers the 20hrs studying a day group , i was a 3-4 hr guy) all opted for science PCM (phy , chem math) , since i was with them since class 9 i shared the same interests as them so i took PCM as well (it was peer pressure but i myself had interest in science) , ofc after taking PCM u give JEE ( engineering entrace exam) so i gave the entrance/scholarship exam of a coaching institute and they said that rn u have to pay for the full fees 400k inr ($5.3k) and they would take an 'offline scholarship exam' (mind u ,i was supposed to get 80% scholarship ) and since it was the start of the pandemic and no one in their dreams knew that this thing wud go on for 2 yrs i couldnt take that coaching and hence i had to opt for an online platform , it went well till july but after it i started getting distracted ( like everyone else) i got avg marks in our mid terms , in nov i got some vids regarding foreign colleges on my yt feed i saw them and got interested but convinced my self this that is bs and the only option i have is JEE , i started studying for my finals and got terrible marks ( i tried but the syllabus of class 11 is huge + i had to cover all of it in 1 month + offline exams ) , 12th began i was fully hyped up and again till july i was scoring well ( in school exams) but i also had JEE which after my class 11's performance was lookin quite tough , i lacked discipline and focus for it ( completely my fault i agree) also i had the foreign college thing in the back of my mind and i thought that maybe i can try this so i spent a month gathering info about it , i searched a lot , whether it be US or AUS , SG or Canada but i coldnt muster courage to tell my parents , somehow i gave them hints and they got it and straight up denied , trust me those days were saddest for me coz i used to be super happy and excited just thinking that i might be in NUS or UNSW or CalTech ( basically day dreaming) i tried to get it out of my mind after my parent's denial but somehow it came back to me ( some instances in my life which made me involved with it again , something like "When you really desire something from the heart and soul, all the universe conspires you to achieve it") i lost my interest in studies ( got 92% in 10th - english-96 , flexing) fast forwarding to current scene i have my class 12 boards in about 17 days and i am tryin hard to study ( i was a good student till 10th) also JEE , my parents think i am prepping for it , they come daily and tell me that their friend's son got into IIIT , someone got into DTU someone in IIT etc but i know that forget getting into these colleges i wont be able to crack JEE.
i dont even know why i even said all this , but i guess no one knows me here and wont judge me + i have been an introvert and i didnt talk to a single person after lockdown (except my family members) and honestly i have no clue what i am gonna do , i never thought that a student like me will even be in this situation

yeah I'm not reading that

how do you have so much time?

I am not Experienced about any of it but talk to your parents about this, talk to friends or a school councillor of u know what I mean

im sorry if i offend u but i dont like how ur parents handled this, im in 11th rn and this is no way a parent should talk to their kids, demotivating them even more, taunting rather than helping them, i too kinda slacked till august (my prep started in april) bc i couldnt keep up with the teaching pattern and i had a eye procedure done, but my parents motivated me by just saying that they dont care what college i got into, that was enough to make me start studying, im not trying to make you feel worse ik what it feels like to be in ur place, my brother was in a similar situation 6yrs ago but that exp changed my parents when he spoke to them about their behavior, ur best bet is to just tell u parents what u feel, sure you will probably get a shoe thrown at u first but after some time that thought will fit into their head and they would refrain from making such comments, also u have some time for your jee, in boards u dont need extremely good marks 70% can get u into many good colleges focus on jee imo,

Since everyone is opening up here is my story:

Premise is same as you till 10th but I got 96%(99/100 in maths, 98/100 in science btw yeah just flexing). I was interested in Physics & maths so I took science(PCM) since my school offered computer science(Python language) I took it as my 5th subject(English was mandatory).
Mind you till 10th I thought computer was only about rot learning till 10th the computer subject we were taught was literally scam imo but I based my opinion on the basis of my previous 10 years in so called "computer" subject but it all changed in class 11th. My computer science teacher was really really good & trusted in practical way rather than bookish learning & soon I realized I actually like coding more than anything. Soon, class 11th passed I literally fell so hard in my final result(literally got 69% not joking chemistry sucks I barely passed in it & wasn't giving much attention to other subjects except python cuz I was genuinely addcited to it). I was preparing for JEE cuz i wanted to do CSE but during october last year i hit the lowest point of my life cuz I wasn't able to cop with JEE syllabus (tbh i wasn't enjoying studying these subjects especially chemistry as i used to till 10th except for python). One day i was sitting alone crying & thinking about worst thing possible an idea got stuck in my mind "Why do I have to become excellent in chemistry to get CSE?". I mean why? Just to give other who have no idea about it(most ppl like me suffers in chemistry & only those who excels in chem get high ranks & they usually choose CSE & fill those seats & those who ain't that good in chemistry choose those branches which really needs mastery in chemistry like Chemical Engineering then ppl ask why our country is only progressing in software field & not in core fields because those who are genuinely good in those subjects choose CSE(because they get higher pay)). Then, I stopped preparing for JEE. My 12th board exams got cancelled & I didn't join any college & currently planning to join some coding bootcamp soon & most importantly I am happier than ever rn. My parents were also scared when I was so low hey clearly told it doesn't matter if fail or not they only want me to be happy & ALIVE(they literally thought i might be planning some worst steps) but those words of my parents became my motivation & now I am loving my life & enjoying it to the fullest unlike those 1.5 years after 10th.

. - iCUM

wtf is this shit
who tf will read this long
tldr