5

funniest player copypasta

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#1
sentinelmain377

Vitality RunneR:
Runner. what are you running from bro? the dementia🤣
Runner. what is bro running from?? dementia?
Runner. bro is the runner? from what dementia?

OPTIC Yay:
Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for NV, an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana.

100T Hiko and 100T Steel:
"Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.

#2
boilin_cockroach
4
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last one is pretty solid

#3
IonlywatchvcjXD
16
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+

i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

#4
sentinelmain377
0
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ye this ardiis one too

#15
Mozzarellas
0
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mrGoudas goat

#28
bronzil_enjoyer
0
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bro is glazing himself

#27
BluetheJedi
0
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I just felt my braincells evaporate

#5
Diebs
8
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It's an off-topic question, but I'm serious. Let’s say that it's the finals on LAN map 5 in crunch time. If Victor starts kissing FNS, not a single opponent will be watching the game, leaving Yay open for an easy ace. Would Victor and FNS be punished for this or would the round count? The rules are vague but point to no unsportsmanlike behavior, but I don't see how this is unsportsmanlike, it's just the most uncharacteristic thing ever. What say you guys?

#6
IonlywatchvcjXD
7
Frags
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Not exactly a player but this too. 🤣

A seven-year old boy challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to DFM, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

#7
Diebs
4
Frags
+

Was on a call with runi rn, he burst into tears. It was the first time I've heard him crying in our 12 year long friendship. He told me that just before the walkouts, melser and a Riot admin went over to leaf's PC and changed a few settings, leaf checked his PC and found nothing. After the game leaf was emotionally hurt so just before getting up he opened vlr.gg to see the reactions here, but, what he saw was disgusting. The site took 15 seconds to load. Leaf quickly called runi and runi yelled, "Run the fucking speed test!". leaf hurridly opened ookla speedtest and found out he played on 10% packet loss and 60ms ping. Then immediately an admin came and wiped their PC's data and smirked and whispered to runi, "Sergio handed us the bag baby" and left. I'm completely heartbroken.

#8
boilin_cockroach
0
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lmao after which game was this pasta created?

#9
Diebs
0
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c9 vs kru in lcq i think
I don't even remember if this is the original one

#10
FireII
0
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if trembo’s mwzera shit counts that’s #1
for VLR mostly, cuz it’s not for twitch chat

#11
zPaann
10
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+

STATS

mwzera https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/VK%20mwzera%234324/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all
cNed https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/ACE%20cNed%23carry/overview?season=all
TenZ https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/SEN%20TenZ%230505/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all

DEATHMATCH STATS
mwzera - 86% win rate (thats the insaniest thing ive seen in a while)
cNed - stats not availiable
TenZ - 73% win rate

RANKED STATS
mwzera - 66.3% winrate (MVP of 95% of the matches) proof here https://imgur.com/StiJmpg
cNed - 53.5% winrate (MVP of 13% of the matches)
TenZ - 60.4% winrate (MVP of 15% of the matches)

can you take your time to appreciate how insane mwzera is? without a doubt the most talented player to ever touch the game

I'll try to explain briefly why I think he is the best player in the world
Despite his insane aim and movement
The best way to know if a player is a good duelist is RAZE. There is a BIG difference between a good duelist and a jett abuser
If he is a good duelist, he needs to be good with raze.

heat? not good with raze
aspas? not good with raze
xand? not good with raze
tenz? not good with raze
cned? not good with raze
scream? not good with raze
d3ffo? not good with raze
derke? not good with raze

Thats why I think he is undoubtely the best player in the world. If RIOT by any means decides to nerf jett and shift the meta we prolly not gonna even hear names like cned and tenz again :>
He is not killing 40+ per map because when he joined VK he was forced to play a different role because heat is already a main jett... and lets be honest, every single duelist nowadays gets 20+ kills per map because team and setups are basically built around you (even steel managed to get 20 kills with it https://www.vlr.gg/29398/sentinels-vs-100-thieves-champions-tour-north-america-stage-3-challengers-playoffs-gf/?game=46692&tab=overview)

#12
voxsu
0
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trembo singlehandedly hypes up mwzera almost to the level that skrossi was "hyped"

#20
Zaba
0
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And it's not even close

#13
Cu55Ku55_______
5
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+

I can picture the matchup now. Map 1, Bind. MIBR are down 2-4, they need to come up with something to stop LEV from snowballing the half. Mazin has an idea. He holds TAB to check the economy. "Hey ShahZam, you have ult for this next round. I think we should-"

.."I know, Matheus."

The voice channel goes silent. Mazin is seen squirming in his Secret Lab gaming chair, intimidated by the intellectual superiority of the one and only Shahzeb Khan. How could he have disrespected him like that?

"Mazin, I'd know you'd never say that to me in real life."

Mazin looks over about 12 feet to his left. "I deeply apologize, my lustrous blonde king. Please, guide us." ShahZam confidently smirks. "Here's what we're going to do. We're all going to hit A through short. We're going to overwhelm Aspas on site."

At the plan executes, something awakes within Aspas. He remembers the tweets. The banter. "Dogshit region..." zombs words echo in his mind. He can't let ShahZam beat him. Not this time. Not ever. He gets four kills, leaving the last player, ShahZam, to be stabbed in the back by a flanking C0M. Absolute cinema.

#14
Cu55Ku55_______
1
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+

I want to eat 🍽 outrageous 😮 amounts of creamed 🤤 cookie 🍪 tonight 🌙 just the creamier the better 💦

#16
Cu55Ku55_______
2
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+

today i cried, i really cried (i'm still sobbing)
i started watching valorant in 2022, and you don't know how happy i was to see a brazilian team performing well, i was like a happy child in the purest childhood dream.

seeing LOUD lose to FURIA felt like being stabbed in the heart. i never imagined that the team i support with my life would be on the same level as Furia and mibr.

It may sound like a joke, but I swear it's not. My dad just asked me why I'm crying, and I can't say it's because of saadhak (a fucking neon player who can't aim while igling). He works a lot and knows nothing about games.

Sorry for this, i am not ok.

#17
alsdhflkahflkajsdhlfhsadl
2
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+

I was Serbian G2 fan, I loved Aleksib but he left G2 and I'm EDG Fan Now.
My New Name Is Méng qí·D·lù fēi (猴子 d 路飞),
我来自China,我最喜欢的球队是 Edward Gaming
You Can Support EDG Like Me Come Join Us

#18
alsdhflkahflkajsdhlfhsadl
2
Frags
+

The legend of TenZ, a name synonymous with gaming greatness, continues to inspire and mesmerize fans across the globe. From his early days on Cloud9 to his game-changing performances with Sentinels, TenZ's journey is nothing short of phenomenal. This virtuoso of Valorant doesn’t just play the game; he elevates it to an art form with his impeccable aim and unparalleled reflexes. Each match he plays is a masterclass in strategy and precision, leaving both teammates and opponents in awe of his skill​ (VLR.gg)​​ (VLR.gg)​.

TenZ's impact on the game transcends mere statistics and highlights; it's his magnetic presence and dedication that truly set him apart. He's not just a player but a phenomenon, igniting the competitive spirit in all who watch him. His journey from heartbreak to triumph is a testament to his relentless pursuit of excellence. The moment he exclaimed "WE'RE SO BACK" was a pivotal one, capturing the essence of his undying commitment and passion for the game​ (VLR.gg)​.

His fans, affectionately calling him "pookie bear" and "my glorious king," are enchanted not just by his gameplay but by his charm and charisma. There's an undeniable allure to his every move, a subtle yet profound magnetism that makes him not just a gaming icon but a beacon of inspiration. TenZ’s ethereal skill combined with his charming persona creates an irresistible allure that leaves fans perpetually entranced​ (VLR.gg)​​ (VLR.gg)​.

In the grand tapestry of Valorant, TenZ isn’t just a name; he’s a legend. His legacy is woven with countless victories, MVP accolades, and moments of sheer brilliance. Yet, amidst all this, it's his endearing personality and the subtle charm that make him a figure of adoration. Whether you're captivated by his gameplay or his disarmingly cute demeanor, TenZ remains a radiant beacon of excellence and inspiration in the gaming world​ (VLR.gg)​​ (VLR.gg)​.

#19
alsdhflkahflkajsdhlfhsadl
1
Frags
+

I can't believe people still hype up TenZ as one of the best players in VALORANT. It’s time we face the facts: TenZ is the most overrated player in the history of this game. Here’s why:

Flashy But Ineffective: Sure, TenZ can pull off some flashy plays, but how often do those actually win games? Highlights don’t mean squat if you can’t consistently close out matches. He's more style than substance.

Chokes Under Pressure: When it comes to high-stakes matches, TenZ frequently disappears. Look at his performance in major tournaments—he chokes when it matters most. A true top player steps up in clutch situations, not crumbles.

Team Carry? More Like Dead Weight: People act like TenZ carries his team, but in reality, he’s often the weak link. His so-called "mechanical skill" doesn’t translate into wins. He’s riding on his reputation from CS
, and it’s pathetic.

Overhyped by Fans and Media: The only reason TenZ gets so much attention is because of his fanbase and the media constantly overhyping him. It's all a marketing ploy. There are plenty of more deserving players who don’t get half the recognition.

Inconsistent as Hell: One game he’s a god, the next he’s a liability. This inconsistency is unacceptable for someone supposedly at the top of their game. How can you trust a player who’s so unreliable?

It’s time for the VALORANT community to wake up and stop putting TenZ on a pedestal he doesn’t deserve. There are far better and more consistent players out there who deserve the spotlight.

Let’s be real: TenZ is a flashy, overrated player who can’t handle pressure and gets carried by his team more often than not. Fight me.

#21
Cu55Ku55_______
1
Frags
+

Not a player copypasta but still funny af

This is a site to create ideas. To make strategies. To analyse games and give counter plays.
I hereby call everyone. All of my allies i,e every vlr user (because I dont have any enemies) to stop spreading hate. Make this a site where people come to create ideas. Where people come to make friends. Where people are excited to come. We as a community can do that. Let us remove all negativity from this site. My only quest on the internet now is the improvement of this site.
I swear on my allies, that,
"I will never spread hate on this platform. I will work for the betterment of this community and every post i make will not be to get back at someone but to help someone or to give something to the community. I will not hate any team any user any player any org as i understand everyone has off days, but everyone is human. There is no reason to hate anyone. They are not my enemies. I dont have any enemies."

Anyone who wishes to join me can take this oath too. Even if you choose not to, its okay you are not my enemy. Lets set an example to the internet, how a site should be.

#22
UkieVAL
4
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+

is it bad that i wish i didnt read the last one???

#23
sentinelmain377
0
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+

no. its good. I swear there was a way better one for HiKo and Steel, but thas the one I found the quickest

#24
alsdhflkahflkajsdhlfhsadl
0
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not for a player but this is funny af too

WHO WE LOVE? DFM🗣🔥WHO WE SUPPORT?DFM🗣🔥FOR WHO WE GIVE OUR HEART??DFM🗣🔥WHOS GONNA CLEAR PACIFIC? DFM🗣🔥WHO WE LIVE FOR? DFM🗣🔥

#25
Tryeue2
0
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I did not see that you posted that lmfao mb

#26
Jihyeok
0
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I’M DELETING YOU MEIY!
👑😭👋
⬜️]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
10% complete…
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
50% complete…
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️]]
99% complete…
🚫ERROR!🚫
🐐👑🏀✅Meiy is forever!🐐👑💖
I could never delete you Meiy! 💖
💩If Meiy poops, I flush.🚽
🙏If Meiy sneezes, l bless him.🤧
👃🏻If Meiy farts, Linhale.💨
👀When Meiy points I look.👉
🗣️When Meiy talks I listen.👂
🧎‍♂️When Meiy commands, I obey.👉
♾️If there are 1 million Meiy fans, I am one of them.🫵
✨if there are 1 thousand Meiy fans, I am apart of them.🫡
☝️if Meiy only had one fan, that is me.😜
🍆If Meiy has no fans then there is no ME.💦

#29
acheii
0
Frags
+

Recently I was punished by my mother. When she asked if I had finished the dishes, I replied FNS, and she got angry, because she knew they had not been washed.

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