I dont know
alright bro. I can't really tell if you're baiting or not but, you should talk to someone that you trust and who cares about you. Alternatively, you could seek professional help (NOT THROUGH THE FORM OF VLR) but counselling.
A good mantra that my therapist has for depression is "Someone out there always has it worse than you." It reminded me to be grateful for my family, friends, and the support system I have when I went through a similar phase. Keep your head up bro. Don't let yourself get locked into those bad thoughts and keep talking.
I know "talking" isn't as easy as it sounds, and I don't know what underlying trauma you may have, but this is why counselling is so useful. Telling a stranger about your problems is very helpful. And if needed, you should talk to your doctor about depression medication, but the side effects for that shit is not worth it.
Some responses may give you hope in humanity and others may take it away but like if anything good comes out of vlr users it comes as a big surprise and since expectations on good responses may be low its a W. Keep moving forward and if you feel stagnant just make sure you're truly observing and figuring out a way to allow yourself to keep growing and changing.