Forgive me God, for I have Sinned

An open letter to God:

Hey it's me, schlong. I just want to apologize for any sinful behavior I may have demonstrated this past week. I know I haven't been coming to church lately, and that I have not used the cleanest language when talking to others. Please know that I have received your heavenly message after getting Bind 5 times in a row just now. I ask for your forgiveness and pray that in exchange for me being a better Christian, you will one day bestow your mercy upon us and remove Bind, a.k.a the devil's butthole, from Valorant

In Jesus' name I pray, amen

Im Jesus in disguise your wish will be granted in the next act>
Amen

"devil's butthole" 💀

this is pretty blasphemous

AdrenalinJunkie [#2]

Im Jesus in disguise your wish will be granted in the next act>
Amen

indian jesus can't be real

caoguo_jiu [#5]

indian jesus can't be real

God is omnipresent

AdrenalinJunkie [#6]

God is omnipresent

May God forgive our sins. I will slaughter a cow as an offering for him.

AdrenalinJunkie [#6]

God is omnipresent

good point, but surely jesus prefers velocity gaming over garbage esports if it comes to making a choice

AdrenalinJunkie [#2]

Im Jesus in disguise your wish will be granted in the next act>
Amen

saying your Jesus is blasphemous, repent.

Erik [#9]

saying your Jesus is blasphemous, repent.

you're*

God like smoking hokah in hookah bitch

Bind was like dust 2 to me when I first started playing the game but now I just hate it
I've also been constantly getting rekt there for the past year IDK what's up with that

AdrenalinJunkie [#2]

Im Jesus in disguise your wish will be granted in the next act>
Amen

cap, Jame is the real jesus

Update:
It has been almost a week. I have played Bind countless times. I have been forged by the fires of hell itself. I am no longer a mere mortal. The curse which has been cast upon me no longer hurts, as I have come to appreciate every single crack and corner of Bind. Bind is no longer just a map to me. It is the home of my conscious, and every single one of my living thoughts is about Bind. In my mind, there is now peace, where before there was frustration. To me, Bind is the only map that should be played in valorant.

HLTVtoxic [#8]

good point, but surely jesus prefers velocity gaming over garbage esports if it comes to making a choice

Lulocity gaming bench one of their best players vibhor. smol brain

caoguo_jiu [#7]

May God forgive our sins. I will slaughter a cow as an offering for him.

I will slaughter deez nutz

schlong [#14]

Update:
It has been almost a week. I have played Bind countless times. I have been forged by the fires of hell itself. I am no longer a mere mortal. The curse which has been cast upon me no longer hurts, as I have come to appreciate every single crack and corner of Bind. Bind is no longer just a map to me. It is the home of my conscious, and every single one of my living thoughts is about Bind. In my mind, there is now peace, where before there was frustration. To me, Bind is the only map that should be played in valorant.

You have found peace at last
Amen

Pls god gimme split or bind, pls stop giving me icebox even in deathmatch and spikerush

god doenst exist bye