Oh Zander, Why 100 Thieves?

Oh Zander, why'd you choose the Thieves,
Leaving us with hearts on sleeves?
We dreamed you'd wear the Sentinel red,
But now those dreams have swiftly fled.

We pictured plays you'd make with TenZ,
A duo causing game-ends.
But 100 Thieves stole you away,
Leaving us in disarray.

Our roster waits with space to fill,
A spot where you could have shown your skill.
Maybe one day you'll change your mind,
And join the team you left behind.

Until that day, we'll watch and see,
Not Cheering you on with glee.
But know this, Zander, with that charming gaze,
You've got these fangirls lost in a daze!

This poem is a muddled mess of fanboy sentiment and tired rhymes, painfully devoid of creativity. Lines like "Leaving us with hearts on sleeves?" force a cliché so hard it's embarrassing. "We dreamed you'd wear the Sentinel red" sounds more like a children's rhyme book reject than an emotional plea. The clunky forced rhyme between "TenZ" and "game-ends" is so awkward it disrupts any flow the poem hoped to build. Meanwhile, "100 Thieves stole you away" is laughably on the nose and lacks depth. The whole "fangirls lost in a daze" bit? Completely cringeworthy. Instead of a powerful closing, it leaves the reader with secondhand embarrassment. The poem neither captures real emotion nor offers any clever insight—just shallow fandom fluff.

what a poet