funniest player copypasta

Vitality RunneR:
Runner. what are you running from bro? the dementia🤣
Runner. what is bro running from?? dementia?
Runner. bro is the runner? from what dementia?

OPTIC Yay:
Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for NV, an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana.

100T Hiko and 100T Steel:
"Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.

last one is pretty solid

i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

It's an off-topic question, but I'm serious. Let’s say that it's the finals on LAN map 5 in crunch time. If Victor starts kissing FNS, not a single opponent will be watching the game, leaving Yay open for an easy ace. Would Victor and FNS be punished for this or would the round count? The rules are vague but point to no unsportsmanlike behavior, but I don't see how this is unsportsmanlike, it's just the most uncharacteristic thing ever. What say you guys?

Not exactly a player but this too. 🤣

A seven-year old boy challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to DFM, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Was on a call with runi rn, he burst into tears. It was the first time I've heard him crying in our 12 year long friendship. He told me that just before the walkouts, melser and a Riot admin went over to leaf's PC and changed a few settings, leaf checked his PC and found nothing. After the game leaf was emotionally hurt so just before getting up he opened vlr.gg to see the reactions here, but, what he saw was disgusting. The site took 15 seconds to load. Leaf quickly called runi and runi yelled, "Run the fucking speed test!". leaf hurridly opened ookla speedtest and found out he played on 10% packet loss and 60ms ping. Then immediately an admin came and wiped their PC's data and smirked and whispered to runi, "Sergio handed us the bag baby" and left. I'm completely heartbroken.

if trembo’s mwzera shit counts that’s #1
for VLR mostly, cuz it’s not for twitch chat

STATS

mwzera https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/VK%20mwzera%234324/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all
cNed https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/ACE%20cNed%23carry/overview?season=all
TenZ https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/SEN%20TenZ%230505/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all

DEATHMATCH STATS
mwzera - 86% win rate (thats the insaniest thing ive seen in a while)
cNed - stats not availiable
TenZ - 73% win rate

RANKED STATS
mwzera - 66.3% winrate (MVP of 95% of the matches) proof here https://imgur.com/StiJmpg
cNed - 53.5% winrate (MVP of 13% of the matches)
TenZ - 60.4% winrate (MVP of 15% of the matches)

can you take your time to appreciate how insane mwzera is? without a doubt the most talented player to ever touch the game

I'll try to explain briefly why I think he is the best player in the world
Despite his insane aim and movement
The best way to know if a player is a good duelist is RAZE. There is a BIG difference between a good duelist and a jett abuser
If he is a good duelist, he needs to be good with raze.

heat? not good with raze
aspas? not good with raze
xand? not good with raze
tenz? not good with raze
cned? not good with raze
scream? not good with raze
d3ffo? not good with raze
derke? not good with raze

Thats why I think he is undoubtely the best player in the world. If RIOT by any means decides to nerf jett and shift the meta we prolly not gonna even hear names like cned and tenz again :>
He is not killing 40+ per map because when he joined VK he was forced to play a different role because heat is already a main jett... and lets be honest, every single duelist nowadays gets 20+ kills per map because team and setups are basically built around you (even steel managed to get 20 kills with it https://www.vlr.gg/29398/sentinels-vs-100-thieves-champions-tour-north-america-stage-3-challengers-playoffs-gf/?game=46692&tab=overview)

I can picture the matchup now. Map 1, Bind. MIBR are down 2-4, they need to come up with something to stop LEV from snowballing the half. Mazin has an idea. He holds TAB to check the economy. "Hey ShahZam, you have ult for this next round. I think we should-"

.."I know, Matheus."

The voice channel goes silent. Mazin is seen squirming in his Secret Lab gaming chair, intimidated by the intellectual superiority of the one and only Shahzeb Khan. How could he have disrespected him like that?

"Mazin, I'd know you'd never say that to me in real life."

Mazin looks over about 12 feet to his left. "I deeply apologize, my lustrous blonde king. Please, guide us." ShahZam confidently smirks. "Here's what we're going to do. We're all going to hit A through short. We're going to overwhelm Aspas on site."

At the plan executes, something awakes within Aspas. He remembers the tweets. The banter. "Dogshit region..." zombs words echo in his mind. He can't let ShahZam beat him. Not this time. Not ever. He gets four kills, leaving the last player, ShahZam, to be stabbed in the back by a flanking C0M. Absolute cinema.

I want to eat 🍽 outrageous 😮 amounts of creamed 🤤 cookie 🍪 tonight 🌙 just the creamier the better 💦

today i cried, i really cried (i'm still sobbing)
i started watching valorant in 2022, and you don't know how happy i was to see a brazilian team performing well, i was like a happy child in the purest childhood dream.

seeing LOUD lose to FURIA felt like being stabbed in the heart. i never imagined that the team i support with my life would be on the same level as Furia and mibr.

It may sound like a joke, but I swear it's not. My dad just asked me why I'm crying, and I can't say it's because of saadhak (a fucking neon player who can't aim while igling). He works a lot and knows nothing about games.

Sorry for this, i am not ok.

I was Serbian G2 fan, I loved Aleksib but he left G2 and I'm EDG Fan Now.
My New Name Is Méng qí·D·lù fēi (猴子 d 路飞),
我来自China，我最喜欢的球队是 Edward Gaming
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