I am 19 years old, virgin and i never had a girlfriend. I have never in my life talked or even been friends with a woman. I have been in a state of crippling depression for the last few months and i don't know what to do, i don't know what i am doing wrong. I have a job and i am earning good money as a video editor, i know some of the most popular content creators in my country. Besides this, i also practice boxing, i go to a boxing gym 6 days a week so i train my physique and fighting skills almost every day. I am kinda tall, 180cm, and i have a decent face. I have been putting in so much effort in bettering myself for the last few months, and with all of this, no girl wants to talk to me. It's like i'm not even a human being in their eyes. I don't know what i'm doing wrong. Please help me.
My last hope
I don't like redpill content creators, especially those who talk about relationships. If i'm ever going to have a relantioship i want it to be a genuine emotional connection with another human i don't want to ,,dominate" a woman and act like a brainless gorilla the way people like Tate advocate for men to do
I have never went up to speak to a woman because i don't know how. I spent all my adolescent years either learning things online or playing video games. I never had any friends and never even held basic conversations until a few months ago. Right now i talk to a lot of people due to my job but only in a professional way. Whenever i walk past a restaurant and i see people sitting at a table, laughing and talking to each other it feels like the world shakes for a moment and i look away, because i just don't get how you can even become this way with another human. I want to talk to women but i'm so impaired socially that i don't know what to do except take care of myself, look clean ,dress nice and then just sitting at a table alone in my uni in the hopes that one day someone will come up and talk to me
I'm just going to skip the "it'll be alright soon BS" and get to the point.
Being on VLR is a red flag.
But if you want genuine advice, try to join organizations and private groups (public groups are more communal but they're a good way to befriend people of all sorts). They provide more interactions, and it may be hard at first, but once you befriend many, developing feelings isn't too difficult.
Learning a language is also very attractive. If you have a certain type of ethnicity you're into, try to learn that language (or learn a new language relevant if already mastered). This is just one of many attractive points, but intellect (both paper and street-wise) is a very valuable asset to retain.
Other hobbies/necessities are also pretty coveted such as:
- Cooking (very valuable)
- Medical (as in CPR and basic emergency knowledge)
- Values of paternity (how much of a good father you will feel like to a future partner)
- Sex drive (dependent on partner)
- Views (political, sociocultural, etc...)
- Degree of support (how much do you support your partner?)
Lastly, you say you've been depressed. This probably is exactly why you aren't pulling. No female will like you more than you like yourself, as much as it is a cliche saying. Good luck my dude.
what the fuck am I saying on this accursed site
some points people haven't pointed out yet, sorry if these are brutal
you seem very obsessed over getting women if you're posting about it online, a lot of women find men who chase them / seem desperate not attractive. honestly it might just be better for you to chill out and continue to focus on your life and something will come along as long as you work on being confident talking to them like normal people, because they're literally just people. you also seem like you're compensating "I GO TO THE GYM AND MAKE GOOD MONEY" which might seem cringe to some women if that's how you come off to them. I think for a lot of women just finding someone they have stuff in common with and they get along with well is enough :) the money and being physically fit is a bonus. and obviously working on your depression will help as well.
Don't better yourself for other people or so that girls would talk to you. You're the one who's gonna benefit from the improvements in mental and physical health from your hobbies and your boxing training. Keep doing what you enjoy and keep being passionate about it. If you're trying to put up a facade that you think girls would like, that shit is fake asf and I can tell you now people can tell right away and they won't like it. Be genuine and passionate about who you are and what you like doing, and you'll get there.
At 19 it's really easy to feel like you're behind when everyone around you is dating but you're not, but if we're honest most relationships at that point implode after a few years anyways because people rly aren't mature enough yet.
TLDR: Finding a girl is not be-all-end-all. Do stuff you like and keep up with your hobbies, and you'll slowly but surely meet more people. You're not doing anything wrong. To use a League analogy you're just farming and scaling rn.
approach them (POLITELY) or continue hoping a girl will approach you instead. if you don't know how to talk to women and you're this down about it then wtf are you gonna do besides getting better at it, there's no dark magic out there that can instantly make you good at socializing. on top of all that, you're only 19 its not the end of the world and you're seriously making a big deal out of this, you're guided by your desperation as if getting a gf will fix everything wrong in your life.
you can't change how you are if you're not even trying. you're in uni; bring up small talk to the ppl you sit next to in lectures (like ask questions about the topic even if you know the answer), join clubs, etc. If you freeze up, force yourself through it because we both know you're not literally paralyzed to discontinue a convo. be friendly (smile), make sure you exchange names no matter what, and then continue this process to the same ppl until you're confident enough to exchanging contact info. This isn't a instant process btw, treat this shit like a gym in terms of progress.
Discord