I’m telling you, Xeppaa is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bhopped out the door.

I wake up from my slumber as the ray of sunlight passes the curtains and falls on my eyes, I sit on my bed for a while scrolling down through social media and then I make my way to the washroom. I sit on the toilet knowing this Cloud9 roster will never work out and as I defecate and the waste masses exit my body I look down and all I see is the current state of Cloud9. As I flush the toilet I see the memories of the Champions run and all the other titles getting flushed and fading away into the pit of abyss.
I look in the mirror and the flashbacks of last year's performances hit hard, I grab onto with the sheer force of hope. I hope that we shall rise one day, resurrect as a phoenix from the ashes but now it seems inevitable. The players on the team are way too passive and lord yay himself cannot do anything. If you want to know how it feels to be a Cloud9 fan. It hurts everyday, every minute, every second, seeing my favorite team suffer. Seeing my lord yay struggle in pain. The agony in his face and the sadness that multiplies every time they lose.

I've seen TenZ play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.

1. DRX wins kickoff tournament
2. C9 flops
3. 100T will be the best Americas team

mwzera: plays multiple bitch roles at once, never complains. Simultaneously entries, supports, awps, and igls. Always the first to die, gets infinite amount of hate and blame for VKS slump in the later half of 2021. Alpha male, 6’2. Doesn’t constantly post about his girlfriend. High testosterone levels that fuel his aggressive plays.