Also been through some similar mental hardships recently and i can't express enough how life changing seing a therapist can be. I know it can be a really scary step to take specially if you are young and you feel like your parents/people around you will look down upon you, but if you ever feel ready you can always do it with out telling anyone when you get a chance. Hope you find your peace my brother, you are not alone and tons of people also go through stuff like this, so dont think its something you should be ashamed off.