I am MALDING

My fucking stoner roommate stole the fucking cap on my hamsters water bottle. The little metal sippy thing and the bottle are still in the cage, INTACT. But the cap? Fucking Gone. This shit-leaf-filled golf fucker Tryna tell me that “he changed the water properly and everything was working” and that “the rats probably took it off”

THERES NO GNAW MARKS, ITS A SCREW IN CAP, HOW THE HELL A RAT IS GONNA UNSCREW THE CAP AND TAKE THE METAL THING OFF????????

Don’t do drugs kids, you’ll end up a dipshit

OK so the only appropriate punishment is to force your roommate to eat your hamster raw and alive. Next time he won't lose the cap even if he is stoned.

maybe a background check on who you share a home with would prevent this incident from occuring