since November 2nd, 2023 against any team that isn't Oxygen, who has beat them 4 times

what a crazy statline

Doug

i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

if sideshow is blacklisted from future events, that will be so fucking annoying and i dont think the community would ever forgive riot

i've been saying since early 2023 moose, bdog, skuba, and flyuh and i still stand by that

1 down, 3 to go

i guess now we're just lying for fun

v1c and mada clear victor and crashies

PRX

why would 100T choose FUT? they are the hardest team to anti-strat because they change their shit all the time

funding from shopify and mogul moves with the passion that ludwig and moistcritikal bring to esports? that would be amazing

FACTS

honestly it probably means that you're a good player, but you excel more when there's a plan in order. a lot of pros get to high imm3/rad because they have another pro player duo, so maybe queue with your teammates and they can help you perform better?

interning this summer

i’m an OG PRX believer

put me on that list please

i tuned in for 1 round and i witness a BCJ 1v3

he’s cold

data scientist, it's kinda when you do science with data and whatnot (i have no clue what i'm doing)

afreeca

poop

my money is on boostio

SEN fans biggest fear: johnqt leaves the roster

FUT has beat 1 partnered team on Fracture and it was navi a year ago... pipe down

asuna maybe, he was so bad during kickoff and part of split 1, he turned it up in playoffs

they haven't beat a partnered team on Pearl in 13 months

lock//in was a cool formality, allowed every team to compete
tokyo being so close to champs was a little dumb though. i think having 2 splits is better but it DEFINITELY should not the format that they chose for this year.

this is giving off ethan, demon1, crashies, victor, and marved vibes

team chemistry is just as important as individual performance

if she stopped hooking up w that person well before talking with you, then its kind of unfair to use that as reasoning to ghost her. much like how you'd probably hate to be ghosted, you definitely hurt her feelings and should apologize, but there is no way you get another chance

name fits, just watch on mute

stayed up until 6 am for this series and it was worth it

goodnight vlr

NAtards, EMEA cucks, and China heads incoming

who the hell is Colin McRae

that was fucking crazy

The watch party in question: https://prnt.sc/vcI722OyOcfF

bring back shiba

cool deal

bring back monyet

me too acegamer

why do i support a team that constantly gives me heart attacks

the other caster used to be a korean caster, innate bias

100% of the bo5s that they've won, they have reverse sweeped

they know the strats

this is fantastic!
https://prnt.sc/xOYeIvNXQgtJ

if you want your brain to be fried with dopamine watching valorant, here you go: https://multistre.am/valorant_pacific/valorantesports_cn/layout5/

im clicking back and forth between them

im down to see a FPX win

G2 fans coming out of the woodworks after 2 years:

I AM SO MAD! YOU SUCCESSFULLY BAITED ME INTO RESPONDING!

GenG outread them so hard, they definitely did their homework

GenG's calls were correct and they were also getting random ass kills, i'd be tilted too

nah, usually PRX has a loose amount of set plays but on Lotus they have pretty meticulous space takes which shut down teams (13-0 vs Talon)

yeah! that 2nd timeout he looked like he was having fun! he definitely did not look annoyed and disappointed

GenG did their homework on PRX's aggro Lotus comp and altered most of their strats to counter it. PRX got tilted since none of their set plays are working so they started ego peeking (notably f0rsaken) to make up the deficit