first thing first i wanted you to know that im speaking to you from experience and i know your pain very well , and like someone said above this site has some ppl that will only be negative(sadly broken ppl who gave up to negativity and trolling cuz they're going through their shit asweel) so be midnfull of that and if you encounter them just ignore them and dont reply. okey let me tell you my experience iven so ddown adn had multiple really fcked up events all at once . it feels hapless right and so dark and you start to question yourself why im even here if i will only suffer , but trust me i swear to you that suffering isnt gonna stay , it will not hurt as bad anymore as you grow up.also you will have some good stuff happen to you that will make you forget some of the bad stuff too, you will meet wonderful ppl in form of friends or a partner that will lighten up your life and pull you out of the darkness, and fill your life with joy, trust me ive been there and if i gave up i was gonna waste on such a good life i have now, so plz be strong for your sake and your loved ones, sorry i typed alot but i felt your pain and had a lot to say.